Those Damn Clowns
by 0ae0
Summary: My first Bones fanfic, set a couple months after Season5, Episode1. Bones, Booth and... a baby? Some sexual content, so beware. NEW UPDATE: I have decided to continue this fic beyond a one-shot due to the support of reviewers! I hope you enjoy.
1. A Wonderful Preview

**AN: This is my first Bones fanfiction. Actually, this is the first fanfic that I have released in a few years. Makes me sound a little old but I'm really not. Anyway, I just want to say that I have issues with the whole past/present tense thing (which is not excusable, although I have noticed that it is not uncommon), so beware. There is some sex near the end. I have not watched Season5, Episode 2, so this does not include any information provided by that episode. As a disclaimer, I do not own "Bones" the series or the characters. Please enjoy!**

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_**Those Damn Clowns - A "Bones" Fanfic**_

Clowns. I don't particularly like talking about it but I remember watching "It" when I was only 5. My father, three days into a weeklong binge, decided that it was a kid's movie. I remember my mother protesting but he threatened her and that was the end of that. After that, I couldn't stand them. That is, until my surgery.

There it was, irrefutable evidence that my mind was not completely back to normal. I no longer felt the compulsion to shoot at clowns. And that thought is what has held me back all this time. I have been cowering inside myself for exactly 4 months and 5 days; afraid to let out what is in my heart for fear of it disappearing. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew that Sweets and Cam were right. If I admitted my love for Bones and it somehow wasn't "real", she would never be the same. That wasn't something I was willing to risk. Or maybe it did truly come down to my own fear.

So, here I am, 4 months and 5 days later, standing next to her, the love of my life (or dreams, I'm not sure), interviewing the wife of a murdered Senator. As we begin discussing the rather sensitive details, their baby starts crying. It's as if the poor child knows something is wrong – knows his father will never be coming home. The widow starts tearing up and I pass a quick glance at Bones. Somewhat to my surprise, her eyes are filled with a soft, endearing look. The look of a mother. I have definitely seen that look before, on Rebecca. With Bones, however, it held a thinly veiled longing. It hit me like a brick wall (simply because I'd completely forgotten about it in all the post-surgery heartache); she still wants to be a mother.

The ride back to the lab seemed longer than physically possible. It struck me as painfully ironic that Bones wanted to be a mother so badly and in my dream, she was pregnant. I often relived that scene in my dreams, each time waking up and almost allowing myself to believe that it wasn't just a dream. But even if I allowed myself such delusions, they were dispelled as I became aware of my cold, empty bed and subsequently, my cold, empty apartment. Even further, Bones' professional attitude at work. And yet, the dream would not go away, a constant reminder of my defective mind. Like a clown in my closet (a bad joke, I know).

As I dropped Bones off at the Medico-Legal Lab, she smiled at me while gathering her purse and jacket. I knew that smile. It wasn't the smirk she allowed to creep on her face when I said something she didn't want to admit was funny. It wasn't the bemused grin she portrayed when she finally worked out something particularly confusing on a case. And worst of all, it wasn't the glorious smile she very rarely allowed when she was just downright happy. No, this was the congenial smile she faked when she was trying to hide something. Placing her hand on the door handle, she spoke softly, "Thanks for the ride. See you tomorrow?"

It was getting pretty late. However, I knew that this was her way of dismissing me. Telling me she was done with the case for today and she needed some time to think. I nodded but asked, somewhat despite my better judgement, "Are you all right?"

In return, she nodded and got out of the vehicle. Sighing heavily, I decided it was stupid of me to ask. She wouldn't have told me anyway. Once I returned to my office, I buried myself in paperwork until the cleaning lady had begun her nightly rounds. She startled me out of my thoughts when she came in to empty my garbage. Stretching lazily, I glanced at the clock. Quarter after 11. Time flies when you're having fun. In actuality, I knew I'd only accomplished half of what I could have if I'd actually been focused on what I was doing. Despite my best attempts, I couldn't stop thinking about the situation.

She wanted a child, desperately it seems, and some time ago, I agreed to help her. But, at the last moment, I retracted my offer and backed away like a coward. How could I do that to a woman who was so important to me? Dash her hopes like they didn't even matter. What a cad I turned out to be.

As I was driving away from the bureau, I wondered if she had considered going through with the insemination. I mean, my donation was probably still being held for her, why not use it? Of course, I knew she wouldn't do that without my permission. As logical as she was, my Bones would never do something like that. With a sudden burst of inspiration, I turned toward her house. There is no reason she shouldn't have a child – no reason why she shouldn't be happy. I will somehow make it clear to her that she can still use my… sperm.

Standing outside her door, I couldn't seem to slow the rapid beat of my heart. I suppose I was nervous. I'd never specifically asked someone to have my baby. Although, I suppose it isn't entirely the same, considering the circumstances. Maybe this is harder, pretending not to love this amazing woman while merely suggesting that she have my child – purely for her own benefit, of course. Psyching myself up mentally, I knocked on her door. I unconsciously held my breath while waiting for her to answer. Just as I had begun to wonder whether she was home or not, the door opened. Obviously dressed for a night in, she was a vision in a black tank top and dark grey capris. She looked genuinely surprised as she leaned against the door. Clearing my throat, I grinned, "Bones… Uh… Can I come in?"

As if being woken from a dream, she smiled that same smile from earlier and allowed me in. As always, her apartment was in immaculate condition. Judging by the placement of her laptop on the coffee table and half full glass of wine beside it, I figured that I'd interrupted her writing. Taking up her glass of wine, she took a quick sip then asked, with a slight undertone of curiosity, "Can I get you something to drink?"

I glanced up at her from the spot at my feet I'd been staring at. She wants to know why I'm here and in some senses, I want to know the same thing. Shaking my head, I decline the drink and watch her nod slightly as she sat down on the couch by her laptop. Drinking in her delicate features, I could tell she was struggling with something inside. Taking a deep breath, she gazed up at me, "Booth… Why are you here?"

Smirking at her typical straightforwardness, I opened my mouth with a quick quip on my tongue but catching the edge of exhaustion in her eyes, I closed my mouth again. Fumbling for words, I turned my eyes to my clasped hands, "I want to talk to you about something… About something I said before my surgery…"

As I trailed off, I looked up at her with my head still bowed, as though ashamed. Her beautiful eyes were a steely shade of grey that no longer possessed a shred of fatigue. Instead, I saw worry in them and my heart wrenched for her kindness. She asked softly, "What is it Booth?"

As I began to pace back and forth on the other side of her coffee table, I continued to struggle for words, "I know I said if I can't be involved in your child's life, I don't want you to have it… but I think that was the tumour talking. Or maybe it was just because of Stewie. Anyway, it's not fair of me to hold you back from having that happiness in your life. I was being selfish and unfair and I think that you should have a child because I know you'd be a great mother. And what I said outside the O.R. proves that I really don't mind if you want to have a child and you need my… little guys to do that. I understand and I want that for you…"

Putting her hands up to stop my ramblings, she gave me a bemused smile, "Booth, you're not making any sense. Slow down."

Running a hand through my hair, I gulped, "I want you to have my baby."

Eyebrows raised, she simply stared at me, assessing me and the situation. After what felt like an eternity, she chuckled, "Booth…"

Now it was my turn to stop her, "Bones, wait. Just wait. I know that came out wrong. Just listen for a second. Please," I paused to ensure she was going to listen, "Okay. I think there is no reason for you to not have a child. I agreed to help you with this and I don't want to go back on my promise."

Readjusting on the couch, she didn't say anything for a moment. I knew she was analyzing my words and deciding upon the most forthright response, as rational as ever. After another quick sip from her wine, she sighed, "Booth. I'm not sure why you think you've broken a promise to me. I gave you the choice if you were uncomfortable with providing your semen. You feel a need to be connected; I can't and wouldn't change that."

Taking a deep breath, I ceased pacing and sat down beside her on the couch. Facing her, I rubbed my hands together, trying to focus on how to make her understand, "Then accept it and let me."

Her brows furrowed at this and she asked what I meant, to which I responded simply, "Let me be a father to the baby. You can be the primary parent but I just want some… rights. That way, we both get what we want."

Well, I mostly get what I want anyway. She shook her head and smiled congenially, "Booth, what makes you think I still want a child? I have thought about it recently and I realize that in actuality, I am too busy for a child at this stage in my life. I work insane hours at the Jeffersonian, I spend all my time outside of work writing my books and every holiday I get, I go to third world countries to identify remains. How would that work with a child?"

"Well, that's what I would be here for," I responded eagerly, "It's just like with any other parents. It's about sharing the responsibility."

Seeming somewhat startled by something I'd said, she held my gaze and for the first time in quite a while, I couldn't read her expression. Losing myself in her eyes, I found my mouth moving of its own accord, "It's logical. You want a child. I can help you with that. And, I can be there when you need help. It's a win-win situation."

After trailing off, she continued to gaze at me as though she was assessing my seriousness. Biting my lip, I desperately hoped she didn't think I was crazy. At the same time I wondered if she knew that I still fancied myself in love with her. Those damn clowns kept me as confused as ever. Finally she broke the silence, "Are you sure about this?"

My heart leapt into my throat, "Are you saying you agree?"

Looking down at her hands, she mumbled something that I couldn't quite understand but just as I was about to ask what she'd said, she interrupted, "I'm saying that… We should decide upon clearly developed parameters if we expect this to work. For one, I want to create a schedule of various learning activities and we would have to-"

"So that's a yes?" I exclaimed.

Chuckling a little at my outburst, she nodded, "I think so. You made some very excellent points about sharing time and responsibility. Plus, you already have a son and would have valuable knowledge on early development that I would only be able to read about."

Smirking in my trademark way, I couldn't resist pulling her close for a hug. She tensed ever so slightly at first but relaxed into the embrace after a moment. As happy as I was about her acceptance, in my heart, I knew it would be hard to not show how much I still love her. Having her in my arms, the woman who was going to have my second child, just felt… so right.

"Umm… Booth?" She asked from our embrace, "Are you going to let me go?"

Never, I thought as I pulled back.

And so we sat for hours, talking about the various possibilities for early learning techniques and products that would be essential for both of us to have. We talked about parameters for our personal relationship as well, which was particularly painful for me when she brought up the fact that we would have to remain a partnership, not a relationship; meaning that we were not making a romantic commitment to each other. Of course, she was the only one that wasn't making a romantic commitment but I wasn't going to point that out to her lest I scare her off. All the while, I kept trying to convince myself that I was doing this for her, not for myself.

Finally when it was close to 3:30am, she ushered me to the door. Just before putting my shoes on, I turned to say goodbye. She had this small but wonderful smile on her face that melted my insides. It was the first time that I'd seen her so truly content in a long time. It left me wishing that I wasn't going home but rather that I was already home, here with her, like in my dream. Allowing my heart to pretend, I reached out and brushed a strand of her hair out of her eyes and whispered, "You're going to be a great mother."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she smiled shyly. This response was so different from that of when we'd originally talked about having a child. My hopeful mind couldn't help but wonder what had changed. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I smiled fully, "We're going to have a baby."

As she laughed softly at my child-like enthusiasm, I felt something take over my body and I kissed her. I knew it caught her off guard because at first she didn't move. I ran my hands through her hair and waited for her to push me away. To my surprise, she didn't. In fact, a moment later, she was kissing me back. Swept up in the moment, I pulled her tight against me, refusing to release her. Before I knew it, I had backed her against the wall, still in the hallway, and our lips had refused to separate. She ran her hands slowly down my chest to where I'd tucked in my white dress shirt. Yanking the bottom free, she deftly began unbuttoning it. My hands found their way under the bottom of her tank top and roamed the impossibly soft skin on her lower back. It wasn't until my shirt was on the floor that we pulled our lips apart and stared at each other.

For twice in one day, I simply couldn't read her expression and cold fear swept over me, "Bones… I'm – I…"

Taking a step closer to me, she pressed her body against mine again – the warmth of which was not lost upon me. Snaking her arms around my neck, she silenced me with a kiss. Not one to refuse this woman, the woman I know I love more than anything else in this world (maybe even tied with Parker), I flicked my tongue against hers and was rewarded with a soft but spine shivering moan from deep in her throat. Unable to hold back any longer, I gathered her up in my arms and headed to her bedroom. I knew where it was and yet I realized that I'd never actually been inside. In this particular moment, however, the décor was completely lost upon me. My concern and interest lie solely upon Bones.

Setting her down once we'd reached her room, I again tried to speak, "Are you su-"

This time, she cut me off by pressing a finger to my lips. Apparently she was intent on not talking about this. Once she was fairly certain that I was not going to continue to try to talk more, she traced her hands languidly down my bare chest and rested upon my "Cocky" belt buckle. The anticipation was killing me but I let her take my belt off with slow, deliberate movements. By the time my pants had hit the floor, I had my lips crushing hers again. We paused only in the removal of clothing until she and I were both down to our last pieces.

Pushing away from my kisses, she moved over to the bed and lay down. Locking her gaze upon mine, she waited. I knew what she meant by this quick intermission. This was my last chance to decide. I could walk away now and nothing would change between us. Or I could stay and have even just a glimpse of what I had in my dreams. There was absolutely no other choice in my mind, crossing a line or not, I was not about to leave her.

Using the same conscious motions she had, I crawled onto the bed and positioned myself on top of her, between her beautiful legs, careful not to crush her lean frame under mine. I rested my elbows on the bed to hold my upper body up and allowed my pelvis to rest against hers. The warmth of her skin against mine made me shiver in anticipation. She giggled at this and ran a foot along the back of my leg. I'd never heard Bones giggle before, so it caught me unawares. Ignoring my somewhat puzzled expression, she reacted up and connected our lips. Engulfed in sheer passion, we removed the last barriers of clothing and set about making a baby.

Although I knew she wasn't shy about sex and the like, it amazed me how good she was at it. I paused before entering her and asked that silent question. She nodded and smiled. And when I did thrust into her, she didn't cry out but rather, she gasped and raked her fingers across my shoulders. I lowered myself and whispered between kisses placed in a meandering path along her neck and collarbone, "Temperance… You feel…"

I trailed off, as she moaned into my ear. Apparently she had a very sensitive neck. In any case, it wasn't long before my thrusts became more quick and our kisses more fervent. She cried out my name a few times, which served only to heighten my arousal immensely. Before long, I felt the intense wave of orgasm and spent myself inside her. Frozen in that moment, we remained still as we mutually tried to catch our breath. Sweat glistened on her alabaster skin, visible only due to the light provided by the moon sneaking through her blinds. Once we finally regained control of ourselves, I pulled out of her and fell onto the bed next to her. Turning towards me, she smiled and traced along my jaw. My heart skipped a beat and I pulled her close. When she didn't protest, I kissed her softly, hoping that on some level she understood that I meant to be by her side forever. Without speaking, she curled up against me and seemed to drift off to sleep. It wasn't long until I joined her but as I was succumbing to exhaustion, I couldn't help but think that I'd never dreamt that she would be a cuddler.

It was sometime within that passionate, whirlwind of a night that I realized no matter how I felt toward clowns, I would always be in love with Temperance Brennan.

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**AN #2: I am leaving this as a one-shot for now. I have an idea to continue the story and I might if there is an interest in it. Please feel free to review, even criticism (although, I will likely ignore flames). Thanks!**


	2. The Beginning of Something New

**AN: Hello, I am back with a second part. I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter! It was mostly because of your wonderful encouragement that I decided to continue this story. I apologize for taking so long to write this second part but I am very big on researching the topics I write on. I have never been pregnant, so I find it necessary to look into the kinds of things Bones will be going through. That is mostly why I won't be writing much regarding casework - it is too easy to write an inferior or "fake" sounding case. I apologize if this comes across as lazy but I assure you it is not. For a little background on me, I am an English major at a University in Canada. I will endeavor to release chapters as quickly as possible but I have school work to contend to as well. Well, I hope you enjoy!**

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_**Those Damn Clowns - A "Bones" Fanfic**_

Passion is a funny thing. It takes over in what feels like mere moments and turns your world upside down, then disappears without a trace. I thought about the fickleness of passion and its ever ironic affair with love, quite often. That one night I spent with Bones was the single most amazing night of my life (thus far). Yet, it remains a secret. For reasons entirely unknown to me, we woke up the next morning and allowed the world to get in the way. She apologized for crossing the line, claiming that she was caught up in biological urges and the excitement of having a child. And I was stunned into silence. Maybe I am a coward. I simply couldn't tell her... The words would not, refused to leave my mouth. That's right...coward.

It has been about two months; two very long and agonizing months. Every time I saw her, I had to mentally scream at myself not to sweep her into my arms and kiss her slow and hard. Every morning I had to tone down my excitement when we spoke for the first time that day and every night I had to try not to forget to take her home – to her house, not mine. I spent many nights tearing apart the situation, trying to decide if it was worse to have a glimpse of something so...earth shattering only to lose it the very next day or not have experienced it at all. I never found a good answer to that.

On this particular day, I found myself waiting somewhat impatiently in Bones' office with Angela, Hodgins and Cam. We were all somewhat on edge because Bones had requested that we have an early morning meeting. I couldn't help but pace nervously around the room, wondering what kind of "meeting" she wanted to have. When she finally strode into the room, my breath caught in my throat. She'd been looking more and more radiant every day, at least in my eyes. Today her cheeks were flushed and her soft curls radiated a stunning romantic feel. I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts enough to pay attention to her words, "I apologize for asking you all here so early. I just have a brief announcement."

She took a seat behind her desk and curled her hands together on her lap. We continued to stare at her in anticipation. A feeling rose nervously in my gut. She smiled a small shy smile, "I'm pregnant."

I felt as though the Earth had collapsed beneath me but my heart jumped into my throat. Angela's jaw went slack as she stared at her best friend while Cam turned her wide eyes at me and Hodgins, well, he didn't seem to know who to look at or what to do. Looking thoroughly amused with the reactions, Bones turned her gaze on me and answered my silent question with a small nod. Angela had finally regained her voice, "Brennan... I didn't know you were even still thinking about that. Where did you get the... Who did you –"

Bones looked confused, "I never said I didn't want a child anymore. The circumstances required me to wait longer than I had expected but Booth's sperm was already donated. I don't see what the problem is."

Suddenly four sets of eyes were on me and I felt somewhat afraid for my life. Shaking her head, Cam turned back to Bones, "But that was almost six months ago..."

"Actually," Bones responded, "sperm collected at a Sperm Bank is frozen and can be preserved for years. In the United Kingdom, a baby was conceived from sperm that had been frozen for 21 years."

Angela and Cam simply gaped at her until Hodgins finally spoke, "Well... Congrats! We're all very happy for you guys."

Eventually, hugs were passed around and Bones and I were left alone. A million and one thoughts were racing through my very tired brain but above all, I was beyond happy. Bones is going to have my baby. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless – in celebration, of course. The realization that I couldn't do that without being labelled insane was a slight damper on my excitement. By the time I had collected my thoughts, Bones had returned to her work, likely completely oblivious to my presence. Clearing my throat to get her attention, I stumbled over words, "When? How did...? How far are you?"

Somehow piecing together my multiple questions, she responded with a small smirk, "I had my first appointment with my Obstetrician yesterday and he confirmed that I am approximately 8 weeks pregnant."

For a second, I just stared at her. She didn't seem to notice anything wrong with what she had done – typical for her, frustrating for me. Placing a hand on her desk to steady myself, I inquired, "You – you what?"

Furrowing her eyebrows, she reiterated, "I went to an Obstetrician for my first consultation and he confirmed I am 8 weeks pregnant. I don't understand your confusion."

I sighed heavily, "Bones, I want to be a part of this whole thing – including the visits to the doctor."

"Well, that seems unnecessary. He assesses my physical condition and the health and development of the fetus, not yours. And it was only the-"

"Okay, wait," I interrupted, slightly irritated, "the fetus? It's a baby, Bones, not some alien thing from outer space."

"The medical term for a child between week 11 and birth is 'fetus' and in actuality, it is often said that they resemble aliens until the second trimester or so," she rationalized.

Shaking my head, I sat on the chair in front of her desk. Struggling with how to make her understand, I rubbed my forehead and simply asked, "What else did she tell you during the examination?"

She continued without hesitation, "He said that I seem to be very healthy, despite the recent nausea I have been feeling. Also, although the fetus is quite small – approximately 8 or 9mm – it seems to be at the appropriate stage of development. Oh and the estimated due date is June 11."

I sighed heavily but tried to keep my emotions at bay, "Bones... I told you I wanted to be included, right? And that is all stuff I would have really like to be there to hear. Do you understand? I don't want to miss anything."

A deep look of contemplation spread across her beautiful face. Allowing her time to analyze and assess what I said, I couldn't help but fantasize a little. Bones is a very stunning woman and I know she will only become more so during pregnancy and motherhood. There is something truly amazing about the strength of women during such a turbulent time; Bones would no doubt be even more astounding. Disrupting my thoughts by clearing her throat, I found Bones standing in front of me, arms crossed, "Okay. I will give you a schedule of my appointments and inform you of anything pertinent to the pregnancy. I feel that I should tell you that I have been experiencing a substantial amount of nausea, particularly when I smell citrus or fish. I haven't vomited yet but I was told that this is fairly normal and should subside sometime around week 12."

Smirking, I led Bones out of her office, "Morning sickness, Bones. That's morning sickness."

She looked somewhat perplexed, "That is a misleading vernacular because it doesn't always occur during the morning... Where are we going?"

"We have an appointment with Sweets. Did you forget?"

Surprised again, she smiled a little, "Yes but it was only because... I was excited about telling everyone."

We stopped for a moment in the hallway and I turned to face her. She was quietly trying to hide a smile – one of the ones I love so much – and I could hardly contain myself. Touching her cheek softly, I grinned back, "Me too."

With that, we headed out of the building and to Sweets' office. For the duration of the trip, I couldn't stop smiling and, although I didn't really intend to, I drove a lot more cautiously than usual.


	3. Telling the Tale

**AN: Hello all. Welcome to Chapter 3! I realized after I posted Chapter 2 that it was pretty short. Oh well. Speaking of Chapter 2, I would like to address a comment someone made regarding Booth being a coward in this fanfic. I do understand your problem with it, however, I'm really not trying to say that he is a coward. The previous two chapters were written from his POV and I think that Booth is the kind of guy that is VERY hard on himself and would consider himself cowardly when there might be other reasons for his actions. Anyway, I am already mostly done Chapter 4 as well, so expect that in the next day or so. Enjoy!**

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**_Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic_  
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While Sweets sat staring at Booth and I, we continued to ignore him. He always preached the idea of openness and the "Truth Zone" that was supposed to exist in his office. It seemed to me, now that I'd actually shared something personal with him, that he wasn't past judging us for what we share.

"You're p-pregnant?" He echoed the question for the third time and for the third time, I nodded and said nothing.

Booth stirred in discomfort. He always hated when Sweets stared at us like minuscule particles under a microscope. Personally, I didn't find it that uncomfortable, perhaps due to the fact that I was secure enough with myself to completely not care what he thought of me. However, I now felt the need to re-examine that security considering my current frustration with his judging gaze.

"Sweets, how many times are you going to ask that?" Booth snapped, "Is this too much adult conversation for you to comprehend?"

Glaring a little at Booth, Sweets turned back to me, "Dr. Brennan, I thought you gave up the notion of having a child when Agent Booth went in for surgery."

Glancing over at Booth, I asked quietly, "Why does everyone think that? I never said that."

"Ignoring me isn't going to help, Dr. Brennan."

Sighing, I addressed the young psychologist in front of me, "Sweets, I have never said that to anyone. Am I to understand that you are surprised because I contradicted something that you assumed to be true?"

As Sweets grasped for an intelligent response to that question, Booth chuckled under his breath and raised a playful eyebrow to me. I winced unconsciously as a wave of nausea overtook my body. Booth noticed immediately and began rubbing my back gently, "Find a spot to concentrate on and take deep breaths through your mouth not your nose. You'll be okay in a minute."

Without a second thought, I did as he suggested. A few moments later, the feeling had passed and I smiled at him appreciatively. Sweets shook his head, "Okay... Well, when did you two go back to the... uh... Sperm bank?"

Even peripherally, I could see Booth cringe at Sweets' use of the term "sperm" but I chose to ignore it and answered, "Actually, we didn't. Booth and I had-"

"I had already made the donation and you know they can keep it for years," Booth interjected quickly, "What was the thing you were saying earlier Bones? 20 years?"

Confused by his reaction, I glanced over at his distraught expression but continued to speak, "Yes. In the United Kingdom, a child was conceived with sperm that had been stored in a Sperm Bank for 21 years."

Booth was quite clearly holding his breath while Sweets dissected us like specimen. The rest of the appointment was spent discussing due dates and early childhood development. Although I know I learned a few valuable things from conversing with Sweets, Booth stopped participating in the conversation shortly after we started it. I found it difficult to understand why he requested to be kept informed and yet refused to listen to information that would likely be significant later on.

He had been acting strangely since that night we shared. I knew that would happen and that was why we agreed on there being a metaphorical line that was not to be crossed. Even so, I found that I couldn't regard that night as a mistake; not just for the fact that it had allowed me the chance of having a baby but also for the deeper connection it provided with my partner and best friend. It had reinforced my favourable opinion of him – he was indeed as sweet and caring as I knew but was also trustworthy and reliable. It showed the sceptical side of me that I was right to trust Booth; that he would never abandon me like so many others had in my past.

As we were heading back to the lab, I could sense something was bothering him. Recently, I'd found it easier to intuitively discern what Booth was thinking. I still hadn't come to a conclusion as to whether that was due to my pregnancy or our previous intimacy. Nonetheless, this newly acquired skill allowed me to anticipate his question, "Bones... Did you go to the clinic? Is that how you, you know, got pregnant?"

I glanced over at his handsome face and answered with another question, "Does it matter?"

He was silent for the rest of the drive and only looked at me again once we arrived at the lab, "I'm sorry Bones but... Yes, it matters to me. At least a little bit."

Opening the door of the SUV, I smiled, "I didn't go to the clinic."

Without waiting to ensure he understood, I left the vehicle and returned to work. Over the next few weeks, I found that pregnancy could be rather confusing. Everyone treated you differently, sometimes without even noticing that they are doing so. For example, Booth drove more carefully and was always watching me for signs of nausea, especially at crime scenes. Perhaps due to years of exposure, I didn't find the smell of decomposing flesh any more disgusting than I had before the pregnancy. Even I noticed the irony in that; I wasn't nauseated by something that makes most people vomit and yet something normally innocuous made me feel like I was going to expel the contents of my stomach. Everyone was very understanding of my condition and helped wherever they could.

Finally the time came for my second appointment with my Obstetrician, Dr. Becker. This time Booth was present and appeared to be somewhat nervous. After asking numerous questions regarding nutrition and general health, Dr. Becker set up the ultrasound to ensure the fetus was developing at the appropriate rate, "Okay, Mrs. Brennan, this gel will be cold but it will warm shortly."

"Actually," I corrected, "It's Dr. Brennan."

Raising his eyebrows, Dr Becker asked that oh so familiar question, "M.D. or Ph.D.?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Ph.D."

For reasons unknown to me, I found myself highly irritated by the question. I suppose it was because I had been asked that by numerous doctors and they always scoff at my Ph.D. I spent the better part of ten years in school to get my Ph.D., how dare they look down on that like it wasn't as good as an M.D! However, no matter how many times I'd been asked that same question, I have never been this aggravated. Both men seemed to have noticed my annoyance and Dr Becker stammered, "I-I was just c-curious. My sister has a Ph.D. and I know it was a lot of work for her."

Smiling satisfactorily, I began to ask about where she'd studied and in relation where he had studied. Halfway through his description of his years at Yale, Booth cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at me. Although the doctor seemed flustered, I wasn't quite sure why Booth had interrupted. It was a perfectly harmless conversation. Dr. Becker finished up the ultrasound and while he was packing up his instruments, he made another attempt at conversation, "How long have you two been together?"

As I began to answer that we're not together, Booth interrupted with a start, "Close to five years."

While Booth tried to dodge my glare, the doctor smiled softly at me, "Congratulations. I will see you in about a month. Oh and," He placed a large hand on my shoulder, "your morning sickness should almost completely stop in the next week or so."

With that, he nodded at Booth and left the examination room. Crossing my arms, I sat in silence staring at my partner. Why would he lie to a doctor? Furthermore, why would he be so hostile towards my doctor? It doesn't make any logical sense. This is the man that will be responsible for assuring the health of our baby, both before and during birth. Perhaps this was a type of male dominance ritual, in which each man is trying to understand his role in relation to the other male and the female is simply caught in the middle. While getting all my things together, I sighed and asked, "Why did you lie to him?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, he headed towards the door and opened it for me, "I didn't."

A little confused, I headed through the open door. The realization hit me only a few seconds later, "You were referring to our partnership. And as Sweets has said, it is like a surrogate relationship."

"Ugh, Bones," He wrinkled his nose, "it sounds like you just agreed with something Sweets said."

"Well," I said thoughtfully, "it seems like he might be right about that. We have become quite close and trust each other fully, just as you would in a relationship."

Placing his hand on the small of my back, Booth led me towards the SUV, "Fine. Just don't tell him about it. We wouldn't want to inflate his ego too much."

The light but reassuring touch on my back sent shivers up my spine, causing me to mentally pause. Since when did his touch give me that feeling – like electricity? Had it always been like this and I just ignored it? I looked up at him to find his soft brown eyes trained on me, edged with a deep sense of worry, "Bones, are you cold? Do you need my jacket?"

Shifting uncomfortably, I shook my head, "No, I'm all right. Just a chill."

Without another word, we headed back to the lab and back to work. My mind was racing with more questions than answers. I kept feeling the shiver creeping up my spine; kept remembering that night we conceived a child. It didn't surprise me that even the memory of that night had me aroused but I was shocked that I found myself not wanting anyone but Booth. Logically, I would expect to want to be with someone whom I'd had sexual intercourse with more than once, thereby maximizing our sexual rapport. Although, biologically speaking, since it was Booth's sperm that impregnated me, he held a certain prowess that I could not endow upon my previous sexual partners. And, perhaps, the partnership Booth and I have built over the years supersedes sexual rapport.

By the time we reached the lab, I felt comfortable in these conclusions and led Booth to my office, like normal. It was almost the end of the day and I needed to retrieve a few files before I could leave for the night. As was our normal tradition, Booth and I were planning on having dinner while discussing our current case. However, upon stepping into my office, I realized that I'd forgotten something. I had asked my father and brother to meet me at the lab so that I could tell them of my pregnancy. Which was why I was not surprised to see them in my office, waiting patiently, while Booth was quite the opposite. After greeting my family, Booth made to leave the office, claiming he was giving us privacy and not surprisingly, he became nervous when I told him to stay. As I leaned softly against my desk, I smiled, "I'm pregnant."

I don't suppose that it was merely a coincidence that Russ and Booth made similar choking sounds directly after the words left my mouth. My father, however, grinned widely and stood up to hug me. As he did so, Russ asked, "B-But Tempe... With who?"

Glancing over, I noticed Booth take a step back. He seemed to be preparing an escape route, just in case. Chuckling in my head, I stated, "Booth."

Both my father and brother raised their eyebrows at the man in question – who only managed a meek smile. Russ moved to jump out of his seat, already yelling, "What? You!"

Before he could get far, my father stopped Russ and pulled him back to his seat, "Calm down, Russell."

Interjecting quickly, I agreed, "Yes, I asked him to."

At this, all three men turned to stare at me as though I'd grown a third eye. Although I didn't fully understand their confusion, I'd dealt with that enough lately to have an explanation ready, "I decided that I wanted a child quite a few months ago and I asked Booth if he would be willing to provide me with the means to accomplish this. Eventually he agreed and here we are. Plus, I should point out that thousands of unwanted children are born every day, why should it be unusual for me to have one?"

Russ hadn't regained his voice and still continued to stare at me but my father laughed lightly and stood to shake Booth's hand, "I understand. Congratulations."

While he spoke, I found that I didn't really understand the undertone to my father's words but was relieved to hear them anyway. Booth seemed to be of the same accord and graciously received the handshake. I could have sworn that I saw him release a sigh of relief. Finally, Russ stood and hugged me tight. It was a bit of a strange show of emotion from him but he also hugged Booth. However, I noticed a moment where he lingered as though he was whispering something to Booth, but since I couldn't make out any signs of actual speech, I ignored it.

The rest of the night went along as originally planned; a quiet dinner with Booth, discussing the case followed by a nice relaxing bath and early to bed for me. I had found out quite quickly that pregnancy was tiring.

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**AN #2: I'm not a huge fan of the ending but I assure you, there is a reason for it. Thanks for reading!**


	4. The Festive Spirit

**AN: Hello to my wonderful readers! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my work, it really means a lot to me. :-) I don't have much to babble on about but I must say that I enjoyed writing this chapter and stayed up until 2am writing it! Please enjoy!**

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**_Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic_  
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Lying in bed, I rested my hands on my stomach. It was slightly rounded beneath my palms. I had read that at this stage of pregnancy, the fullness of my abdomen was likely due to bloating rather than fetal growth. I smirked at the thought of the tiny life growing within me and of the man that caused it. As though reading my thoughts, the door to my bedroom creaked open and Booth walked in. It didn't seem unusual or out of place for him to be standing in my bedroom, so I sat up against my headboard and gazed at his strong form. As I did so, he smirked at me and removed his shirt while striding over to the bed. Taking a seat next to me, he sighed, "Today was a long day."

When I nodded in agreement, he ran a finger along my cheekbone and gazed deep into my eyes. In what felt like an eternity, he leaned slowly towards my waiting lips and kissed me softly. As he pulled back, he murmured, "I can't wait to see our child."

I laughed and he placed his large hand across my exposed stomach. Gasping a little at his touch, I whispered, "Not for another six or seven months."

Grinning at me, his hand delved into my hair, "While we're waiting..."

Without another word, his lips captured mine. This kiss was completely opposite to the previous one. I could feel his need right away – verging on desperation. He wanted me desperately. And I was eager to give him what he wanted. Taking action, I pushed him back onto the bed and sat straddling his hips. Hardly seeming surprised he ran his fingers along my thighs and watched hungrily as I removed my shirt. Leaning down to kiss him again, I traced my fingers along his hard chest and teased around his abdomen. As I rotated my hips slowly, he grunted softly to show his pleasure. A few minutes later we had removed our clothing and resumed our positions. As a crescendo of pleasure overtook us, he whispered into my open mouth, "I love you."

That was when we were interrupted. By my alarm clock. Frustrated beyond belief, I reached over and turned it off. Rolling back onto my bed, I realized it was empty which quickly led to the recognition that it was all a dream. A disturbingly realistic and arousing dream. This was the third night this week I had dreamt of having sexual intercourse with Booth. The dreams started the last week in November and had caused many tense moments with Booth at work, mostly when he caught me daydreaming about him.

With regards to the pregnancy, Dr. Becker had been right about the morning sickness and I was relieved to see it go. With December's start, I transitioned into my second trimester and I felt wonderfully energetic. At least twice a week, Booth and I would simply meander through the interlinking paths of the vast park near my apartment. It was becoming something of a routine and I found that I quite enjoyed talking with him about non-work related things. However, I continued to dream of such intimate moments with him that I found it hard not to think of our partnership as a kind of relationship.

As Christmas was drawing nearer, I found myself thinking of what I could buy Booth. It didn't seem to matter to me anymore that I didn't believe in the holiday itself but more so that Booth believed. Finding a present that was suitable for him proved to be more taxing than I had ever thought.

The night before my next appointment with Dr. Becker, Booth invited me to join him and Parker at a skating rink. Although I tried to decline to allow Booth time alone with his son, he persisted and eventually convinced me. At the rink, we laced up and headed out onto the ice. I found that I wasn't any better at skating than the last time I'd been on ice and as I had expected, Parker was almost as good as his father. The two of them seemed to be quite enjoying themselves, laughing and chasing each other around. Despite my best efforts, I always seemed to end up on my butt. Growing frustrated, I sat on the cold ice and observed Booth and his son. No matter how many times I saw them together, I was always struck by Booth's fathering capabilities. He exhibited an amazing amount of patience and always endeavoured to show his son how much he loved him – the way a father should be.

A small gloved hand reached out to me, "Bones, isn't the ice cold? Come on, I'll help you up."

To my surprise, it was Parker who was offering his assistance. As I allowed the small boy to help me to my feet (which wasn't particularly easy), I marvelled at how alike the two of them were, always there to lend a hand. Smiling down at Parker, I continued to hold onto his hand, "Thank you. I never was very good on ice."

Glancing back up at me, he spoke thoughtfully, "Me neither. But my dad showed me how. He's so fast!"

Laughing, I glanced over at Booth and found him watching us intently, perhaps out of concern for our safety. He remained stationary as his son led me over to him slowly but surely. When we finally reached him, Booth grinned at us, "How about we go get something to eat?"

Parker agreed enthusiastically and I felt my stomach rumble. When we were finally at our table in the diner, Booth put his arm around Parker and took on a serious expression, "Park, I have something kind of important I need to tell you."

Raising my eyebrows at my partner, I wondered what it could be. Realization didn't dawn on me until he actually spoke the words, "Bones and I are going to have a baby."

Shocked, Parker looked from his father to me and back again a few times. Then he settled his gaze upon mine and asked quietly, "Really?"

The reverence in his eyes was immediately apparent and I couldn't hold back a small smile as I nodded my response. The little boy's face lit up in joy as he hugged his dad and sort of squealed in excitement, "I'm going to have a little brother?"

Laughing into his son's hair, Booth corrected, "Or sister. We don't know what it is yet."

As his son pulled away, Booth turned his eyes to mine and smiled. There was a sense of relief in his deep brown eyes. I nodded to show my agreement but was distracted soon after with the arrival of our food and about a million and one questions from Parker. Strangely enough, he never asked if we were together, like as a couple. Evidently, it didn't seem odd to him that we should be having a baby. In comparison to the reaction of the adults we'd told, I found that I was glad it turned out this way. Parker's acceptance of our child would be a huge weight off Booth's shoulders and I was grateful for that.

At our appointment with Dr. Becker the next day, we requested our first ultrasound picture of the fetus. According to the doctor, the child was developing as expected and informed me that it is quite normal for a woman to not 'show' until a little later in her first pregnancy. However, almost in the same breath, he cautioned that I should expect to need maternity clothing fairly soon. During the same visit, my blood was tested for something Dr. Becker referred to as NTDs. As he was inserting the needle, I winced involuntarily. As I did so, Booth's concern peeked and Dr. Becker apologized, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Shaking my head, I smiled, "It's all right, I am quite used to needles. It just caught me off guard."

Finishing the procedure, Dr. Becker grinned back at me, "I will have to be gentler from now on."

As I opened my mouth to insist that would be completely unnecessary, Booth interrupted in a cold voice, "Where's that ultrasound picture?"

After receiving the picture, I simply could not stop staring at it. It was so small. Despite knowing the processes which cause the conception of a child, I still found myself amazed that this particular child was created by Booth and I. As we headed back to the SUV in silence, I wondered whether it would have my eyes or his. Finally in the warmth of the vehicle, I noticed that Booth seemed upset. When he turned the key, he finally blurted, "I don't like that man."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, "Dr. Becker? Why not?"

"You really don't see it?" He asked incredulously.

Pausing for a moment, I couldn't quite get what he was referring to, so I simply shook my head. Sighing heavily, he explained, "He flirts with you."

"He does not!" I protested.

"Bones," Booth said in a low voice, "He was flirting with you. It's not up for debate, it's just the truth. I don't like it. He knows that we are having a child together and it doesn't seem to faze him."

I thought about this for a minute. It would be inappropriate if he were, considering his position as my doctor and my supposed relationship with Booth. Sighing softly, I nodded, "All right... I understand. I will make sure not to encourage any of his flirtations."

Even though I knew that was essentially what Booth had wanted, he seemed surprised by my comment. Seconds later he grinned, "Let's skip work this afternoon and go shopping."

Laughing at his child-like expression, I reasoned, "Well, we can't go any further with the case until the DNA results are returned. I suppose one afternoon off couldn't hurt."

Looking downright pleased with himself and my agreement, Booth began to drive out of the parking lot, "All right, Bones. The world is your oyster, where would you like to go?"

Letting his good mood catch on, I smiled, "Well, apparently I am in need of some maternity clothing. I'm not sure where to get it, so I'll leave that up to you."

"Typical Bones," he muttered under his breath.

Though I had never been shopping with a partner – romantic or otherwise – I found that I was pleasantly surprised with Booth during that afternoon. He recommended good clothing and was always supportive of me when I tried it on. I found that I was enjoying myself immensely even though I couldn't buy much, not knowing when I was going to finally start gaining weight. The next few weeks in December proved to be the answer to that question. It wasn't that I was huge but rather that I was actually looking pregnant. Despite the concerns of my friends, I didn't really mind; I knew I wasn't getting 'fat', just nature taking its course.

Finally Christmas Eve arrived and with it came the Jeffersonian Christmas party. We had all decided to get together just before it to exchange gifts. It always amazed me that I was still invited to the gift exchange despite the fact that everyone knows I don't believe in Christmas and presents. This year, however, I bought two. Hearing a knock at my door, I checked my reflection once more. My dress was black lace over a pale blue – so pale it almost seemed white – satin sheath. The straps sat on the very crest of my shoulders and dove into a deep 'v' at my newly emphasized cleavage. It was tight just under the bust and flowed out to just past my knees. Angela helped me pick it out and I always trusted her judgement in clothing. I unconsciously fixed my loose curls as I opened the door to see Booth looking very dashing in a black tux. He stared at me with his mouth slightly open. As I led him into my apartment, I began analyzing, "Tell me the truth. Is it too much cleavage?"

Visibly gulping, Booth trained his eyes upon mine, "N-no Bones, it's not. You look..." he paused to take in a deep breath, "stunning."

I stopped in my tracks and looked over at him. A smile crept onto my face, "Thanks Booth."

With that I slipped on my jacket and we headed out. Once we reached the lab, I ran into my office to grab the presents and headed up to meet the others in the loft. Booth had already set out his presents and greeted everyone warmly. Coming up the stairs, I removed my jacket and set it down with my presents. Hodgins came over to give me a hug, "Merry Christmas Dr. Brennan... You look..."

As he trailed off, Angela elbowed him away. She winked at me and gave me a hug of her own. I shook hands with Cam and the various other interns who were joining in the celebration this year. Angela, still standing next to me, took up her glass of champagne and said in a loud voice, "All right everyone, let's say a quick toast to start the night off."

As I stood awkwardly out of the celebration, Booth handed me a glass. At my disapproving glare, he chuckled, "Its sparkling apple juice."

"Thank you," I whispered as Angela started her toast.

"I just want to say that despite all the ups and downs we've had at the lab during this past year, I think we all have something to be thankful for. For friends, for lovers, and for life," at this last word she glanced intentionally in my direction, "I can't think of a better group of people to spend every day with. Let this next year be even better than the last and God willing, less dramatic."

As everyone laughed at this, the glasses were raised and we all took a sip. Settling into our chairs, they began the present exchange. It seems that they had decided upon a Secret Santa theme, without paying much attention to the 'secret' part. Some of the gifts were serious, such as a suspiciously familiar bottle of perfume for Angela, while others were purely for laughs, like a smiley-faced coffee mug for Fisher. Once all the gifts were exchanged, it was suggested that everyone proceed to the conference hall for the actual Christmas party but I interrupted, "Actually... I have a present to give this year."

Everyone stopped where they were and stared at me with unveiled curiosity. Shaking my head, I pulled out my presents and handed them to Booth, "I realize that I don't really believe in giving gifts, but I thought I could make an exception this year."

Booth stood looking at me in awe, "But this is two presents..."

"Oh," I pointed at the larger one, "This one is for Parker."

Angela snapped out of her shock and crossed her arms, looking smug, "I've gotta see this."

Rolling my eyes at her, I turned back to Booth and waited for him to open his present. The nervous anticipation that was causing my stomach to churn surprised me a little. I attributed this mainly to the fact that I had not had much practice in buying gifts and that I was worried how it would be received. It probably didn't help that Booth's opinion definitely matter more to me than anyone else's. He slowly peeled back the metallic red wrapping paper to reveal a small black box, which he opened just as carefully. I gulped as he looked up at me after seeing the gift. He didn't respond for what felt like forever, although I knew it was probably only a minute or so. Wringing my hands together, I stuttered, "Is it not... I-I mean, do you not like it?"

He chuckled softly and I noticed that his eyes were soft, "Bones... No, I love it. Thank you. "

Sighing with relief, I crossed my arms, "Good... Uh. It's Joseph, believed to be the Patron Saint of fathers. I thought it suited you since much like Joseph, you would give up everything for your son and I know you will be as amazing with our child."

Closing the box again, he pulled me into a tight embrace, whispering in my ear, "Temperance, it's perfect."

We shared a quick smile before Angela interrupted, "Awww... Have you two honestly never thought about hooking up?"

Blushing, I pulled away from Booth and suggested that we head over to the conference hall. Despite Angela's consistent harassment, we did just that. At the banquet, I danced with a few colleges, answered a ton of questions regarding my slightly bulging stomach and ate some fabulous food. Near the end of the evening, Booth pulled me out to the dance floor. Once there, he pulled me as tight as my current belly would allow. As he held me close, he traced his hand down my spine which aroused two feelings in me – a lulling sense of comfort that had I been lying down would have put me to sleep and an intense feeling of want in my stomach. No other man had ever made me feel such conflicting and yet complimentary feelings at the same time.

So close that I could feel the warmth of his breath against my ear, Booth whispered, "You know, I have something for you as well... But I was planning on giving it to you tomorrow. What are you doing for dinner?"

Unable to repress a shiver, I rested my head against the broadness of his shoulder and turned toward his neck, "I d-don't know. I will be with Russ and my father in the morning but I wasn't planning on staying with them for dinner. "

As I stared at his neck, I felt overcome by the desire to kiss it – to kiss him. The sudden realization of what that could mean caused me to pull back slightly from our embrace. His gentle chestnut eyes questioned me silently and when I tried to look down at my feet, he lightly guided my face back to his with a soft finger on my chin, "Come to my place. Let me make you dinner. "

Our lips were so close I could almost taste his kiss, as I had many times in my dreams. I nodded in response to his suggestion, which elicited a smirk from him. Just as I believed he was going to close the gap between us, I heard someone clear their throat to our right, "Can I cut in?"

Both equally startled, we turned to scold whoever had interrupted that impossibly intimate moment but it seems both our voices were lost at the sight. Remaining in Booth's warm arms, I gasped, "Sully?"

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**AN #2: Just out of curiosity (and maybe to see if I can get more people to review), do you think Booth & Brennan are having a boy or a girl? I have an idea but I might be persuaded. :-) Thanks!**


	5. Pandemonium

**AN: Hello all! First off, let me say that the response to the last chapter was amazing! I will admit that I do know how I plan to continue with the story but I really questioned my thoughts while reading your reviews. Some of it was quite close to what I had planned. I also quite enjoyed hearing everyone's frustration with Sully's reappearance and I have the same dislike for him. Although I quite liked the suggestion of dismembering him, I don't think I will go that direction! I like to reread my chapters at least twice before I submit them and I must admit that I almost completely rewrote this chapter while doing that (I just wasn't happy with it). It is finally done! I hope you enjoy (oh and please don't kill me). :-)**

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_**Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic**_

As Sully let out a soft chuckle, I pulled back from Booth's arms. Taking a step closer to us, Sully grinned, "Tempe, you are still as breathtaking as I remember."

A blush crept up my cheeks and I unconsciously rested my hands just below my swelling abdomen causing Sully to gasp, "A-are you...?"

He trailed off and I answered him with a slight nod. In a low voice, Booth muttered, "Well, I will let you two catch up."

Sending Booth a quick glance, his eyes were downtrodden and glassy but I couldn't quite place the dull emotion he was trying so hard to hide. As he turned to leave, I reached out and grabbed his hand, "Wait!"

Although it stopped him in his tracks, the look in his eyes didn't dissipate and he sighed, "It's all right, I will call you tomorrow about dinner."

Dejected, I dropped his hand and watched his back as he pushed his way through the crowds of people. I felt extremely uneasy to see him leaving. Glancing back at the man I once loved, I suggested we leave the hall and speak somewhere more private. He agreed and let me lead him to the loft. Upon arriving, I leaned against the rail overlooking the lab I spent most of my time in. Standing next to me, Sully shook his head, "I really can't believe you're going to have a child!"

As I glanced sideways at him, I tried to place exactly how I felt about seeing him again. Emotions were often murky and indiscernible to me but I somehow felt that I might have loved him at one point. The difficulty for me was whether I still held those feelings for him. Memories of all the wonderful times we spent together flooded my brain and yet, overshadowing those memories was the image of him sailing away – without me. Yes, he had asked me to go with him but when I declined, he still went. I would never have requested him to stay on my behalf but somewhere deep in my psyche, I felt that he wouldn't have left if he truly loved me. A person never really lets go of a betrayal of that extent. Even years later, I still find it difficult to trust my own father.

Running a hand down my back, he cleared his throat, "You know... I have to ask who the father is."

At that moment, I realized something. I suppose if I knew more about psychology and feelings, I might be able to assign more meaning to the realization of feelings but I am a scientist to the core. However, I did realize that no matter how Sully touched me, I never felt the electricity (for lack of a better term) that I felt when Booth touched me. Without hesitation, I answered, "Booth."

Whether it was because he actually found the situation funny or out of pure shock, he laughed. At my puzzled expression, he ceased laughing and turned to lean against the rail, "I kind of knew that would happen..."

Immediately, I realized that he meant Booth and I having a relationship and although I knew he was assuming incorrectly, I didn't feel the urge to correct him. So I simply nodded. He looked over at me and I could instantly see the hurt in his eyes, the sheen of unshed tears that rimmed them. We spent the better part of three hours catching up and laughing at various recounts of our years apart. When it was finally time to leave, he walked me to my car and hugged me gently. Instead of pulling away, he hesitated and after a moment went to kiss me. Without thinking, I turned my head so his kiss landed on my cheek. Something about it felt wrong to me. Brushing a hair back from my eyes, he chuckled, "I'm sorry. Merry Christmas."

At home that evening, I spent quite some time analyzing my rejection of Sully. He and I had been close and I did think about leaving with him. I just couldn't bring myself to leave my life, my family and friends – mostly Booth. As perplexing as emotions can be, I was certain about one thing, Booth had filled the spot within me that yearned for human interaction and comfort. He was always there when I needed him and even though he harassed me sometimes, never judged me for my social awkwardness. When I spent time with him, more noticeably as of late, I felt content. Sully could never give me that same feeling.

Christmas day, after opening presents with my father, Russ and his family, we spent the early afternoon conversing as I imagine most normal families do on such a holiday. It was the first time I'd truly had a Christmas celebration since my parents disappeared so many years ago. At times, I would drift into a daydream, imagining the many Christmas' I would spend with my own child; perhaps even with Booth and Parker. The idea was alarmingly pleasant – us together, as a family.

When I realized it was 4 o'clock, I checked my phone to see if Booth called but was disappointed to find that he hadn't. Concerned, I decided to head over to his apartment. The weather was fairly mild for late December, with a temperature just cold enough to sustain the snow that covered the ground. Even so, I found that my cheeks and nose were colored slightly when I finally reached Booth's apartment and remained rosy as I knocked lightly on his door. Despite having originally invited me, he seemed stunned to find me at his door but invited me in nonetheless.

As I removed my layers, I spoke softly, "You didn't call me."

Hands resting on his hips, he countered, "Actually I did but you weren't home."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "And you knew I wouldn't be."

He paused for a moment then let out a long breath, "You were at your brothers... Bones, I'm sorry."

"You thought I was somewhere else," I stated while crossing my arms.

Looking up at me with guilty eyes, he confirmed my assertion. I sighed and continued to wait for his response. After hesitating for a few moments, he muttered, "Sully. I thought you were with Sully."

I couldn't resist a burst of laughter, unsure whether I should be upset or not. Booth stared at me with wide, confused eyes. Finally, I explained, "We talked for a little while last night and that was it. I have no interest in renewing a romantic relationship with him."

After laughing off the confusion, Booth set about finishing dinner while I prepared the table. Strangely enough, he had prepared dinner for me while continuing to believe that I was with Sully. I found that Booth was a fantastic cook and that he had baked what he called a traditional Christmas dinner – complete with a roasted turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and pie for dessert. He insisted that I try some pie but had ice cream ready, just in case he said with a wink. It was an apple pie with a hint of cinnamon. Much to his surprise, I loved it – in fact, couldn't get enough of it. And when we finally finished cleaning up the empty table, I was beginning to get drowsy.

Taking a seat on his couch, Booth pulled me down to sit beside him and reached for a present on the table. It was wrapped in a beautiful embossed gold wrapping and I almost felt bad for opening it. Once I laid my eyes upon the present inside, I found myself at a loss for words. It was my mother's belt... But it looked new. Seeing my confusion, Booth explained, "I found the original designer and had him make you another... with the same design and belt."

Gulping back tears, I pulled him in for a hug. No one had ever done something so nice for me. It was amazing. A part of me knew I had always had a connection with Booth but this pregnancy had really brought out those realizations. And yet, as I began to wonder if maybe our partnership was something more than just a work agreement, I also worried that it was only related to my pregnancy. What if it was all hormones causing me to have feelings for Booth? How could I ever really know for sure?

As I sat back on the couch, I noticed Booth's eyes on my stomach. They lay on the proof of our connection, the growth of our baby. And I made something of an intuitive leap – something I would never have dreamt of doing before – reaching out I took his hand within my own. His confusion rose and then dissipated when I placed his hand on my abdomen. Running it softly along the curve, a full and sincere smile spread across his handsome face, "Thanks Bones."

I simply nodded in response. We spent the rest of the night watching various "Christmas Specials" as Booth called them – Charlie Brown and Rudolf. Sometime throughout the evening, I moved to lie on the couch with my legs draped over his lap. He didn't seem to mind and simply placed his hand on my stomach, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. I can't really be sure how long he continued that because I fell into a deep sleep shortly thereafter.

I spent the next couple of weeks trying to decode my feelings towards Booth. I had no doubt in my mind that I had feelings for him but it was just the extent and cause of those feelings that kept me perplexed. And so, in my usual fashion, I tried to stand outside myself and view the situation logically. Unfortunately, that didn't lead to an answer, at least not that I could perceive.

January brought much colder weather than the previous month. And although I enjoyed the beauty of the season, it was making my pregnancy more difficult. In the short three weeks since Christmas, I gained a substantial amount of weight and my slightly rounded belly became quite obvious as it jutted out. Also, I found that I had to use the bathroom much more often than my previous norm, which I was told is very common during pregnancy. This was particularly difficult when Booth and I were attempting to do field work. Although I didn't want to restrict myself, I knew that I would soon be unable to accompany him outside the lab. Booth seemed to recognize this as well but hadn't made a comment to me about it.

One night during the second last week in January, after a very unfruitful search through a suspect's apartment, Booth drove me back to the lab to pick up my vehicle. Both seething in our own frustrations, we spent most of the ride in silence. Once we pulled into the parking lot at the lab, I realized that it was getting quite late and we hadn't eaten dinner. Glancing over at him, I suggested, "Booth... Did you want to come over for dinner?"

Although he seemed more shocked than I had expected, he seemed to consider it for a moment then sighed, "I can't. I have parent teacher interviews with Parker and Rebecca tonight."

"Oh, okay," I smiled and hopped out of the vehicle, "See you tomorrow."

Even though I'm certain he was about to say something, I shut the door and got in my car as quickly as I could. It puzzled me a little that I should suddenly feel so jealous of Rebecca. Logically, I knew that there were no longer romantic notions between the two and despite his momentary lapse they hadn't been sexual for years. Still, logic or not, I couldn't suppress the feeling and somewhat angrily attributed it to pregnancy hormones.

By the time I'd reached my own apartment, I had come to the conclusion that I would simply have a relaxing night in and maybe work on my book. It seemed to me that I almost felt the need to prove to myself that I could be alone and still be happy – particularly without Booth. I can survive without him. I do not need a man in my life to be satisfied. Although, sexually speaking, I really couldn't and that may have been partially the source of my jealousy.

After finally calming myself down, I decided to have a quick shower and then something to eat. The problem arose when I was exiting the shower. I was overcome by fatigue and dizziness. Although exhaustion was something that I had been struggling with a lot over the past few weeks, I had never been dizzy before. Barely managing to redress myself, I laid on the couch for a long while. When I finally thought I had it under control, I stood slowly and realized that I was very wrong.

Frantically, I reached for the phone but paused before I dialed. I couldn't – or perhaps just wouldn't – call Booth right now. His son was very important to him and I desperately didn't want to interrupt that. The numbers before me began to blur and I was starting to worry that I might faint. Using speed dial, I called Angela but immediately got voicemail. I tried my hardest to squint at the phone to will myself to remember someone else's number but I found that I simply could not. I hit the speed dial for Booth. Voicemail. He was probably in the meeting. Tears sprung to my eyes, making it even more difficult to distinguish the keys on the phone. My hands shook fiercely as I finally dialed 9-1-1...


	6. An Angel in the Night

**AN: Hello all! It has been a few days since I updated and I feel kind of bad for taking so long to release this chapter. Seems a little weird but it's totally true! This one's a long one but it's not the most eventful... It holds a few nice surprises though. I hope you enjoy it and I would love to hear your thoughts!**

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**_Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic_  
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Leaning against a bookshelf in Parker's classroom, I crossed my arms and desperately grasped for the words to tell Rebecca about Bones and I having a baby. I honestly had no idea how should would react and I was really hoping she wouldn't threaten not to let me see Parker anymore. That would be unbearable. Deciding to bite the bullet, I turned to her, "Rebecca, I need to talk to you about something."

Raising her eyebrows, she motioned for me to continue.

"Well, you know my partner, Bones?" I paused to wait gage her reactions but she only nodded nonchalantly, so I continued, "Uh. She and I... Well, she is pregnant. And I am... I mean..."

I trailed off as Rebecca finally smirked, "Parker already told me."

Opening my mouth to respond, I found I didn't really have a response, so I clamped it shut again. In hindsight, I really should have known he would tell her but for some reason, I felt that she needed to hear it from me as well.

"Look," she said sternly, "I don't really care what you do with your..." she made a vague motion at my groin and continued, "As long as you still have Parker's interests at heart. But really Seeley? You got your partner pregnant?"

Unable to overlook the sarcasm dripping from her voice, I rolled my eyes at her, "It's not what you think... It's complicated. But, I want you to know that this will change absolutely nothing between Parker and I."

With that weight off my shoulders, I pulled out my cell phone and went to turn it off silent but realized I had a missed call from Bones timed at over an hour ago. Just as I was about to excuse myself to call her back, my phone rang. It was a 'private' number but I answered anyway, "Booth."

"This is Seeley Booth?" Asked an unfamiliar female voice on the other end of the line.

"Yes it is..." I said, feeling a lump form in my throat.

"This is Dr. Fields at the Washington Hospital Center. I have a patient here by the name of Dr. Temperance Brennan. She has listed you as an emergency contact."

I could almost feel my face drain, "What happened? Is she all right?"

"She is in stable condition in the E.R..."

"I'm on my way," I muttered, hanging up my phone. After quickly saying good-bye to Parker, I rushed down to the hospital. It seemed like it took me forever to get to there, park and find the emergency room. My heart felt like it was pounding so hard it might actually burst. What if she was really hurt? What about the baby? These questions circled through my head in a whirlwind of uncertainty. A slightly meek nurse directed me towards Bones' room and as I rounded the corner into her room, I almost knocked over an orderly who was merely passing by.

And there she sat, legs dangling off the side of the hospital bed with a hand gently resting on her stomach, head tilted down toward the floor. She seemed to be deep in thought and only acknowledged my presence once I was standing right in front of her. She looked up and grunted, "Ugh. They called you?"

"What?!" I gasped. She didn't want them to call me?

She rolled her eyes, "I'm fine. I was just experiencing a bout of fatigue and likely because I hadn't eaten, I was nauseous and a little bit dizzy. That's all."

"Bones," I rebuked, "You're pregnant and you need to take care of yourself... Better than usual. Wait, did you say you didn't eat?"

"Well, we were working a case and I just wanted to shower when I got home," She explained, "But I am all right. It was mostly the result of iron deficiency anaemia, which is common among women in my condition..."

As she trailed off, I furrowed my brows at her, "Why did you call for an ambulance?"

"I really didn't want to," She remarked, "But I tried calling Angela and she didn't answer. And I knew you were busy with your family-"

"My family?" I echoed, slightly suspicious of the syntax she used. Parker, yes; Rebecca, not so much, "You don't think Rebecca and I...?"

"Well, it wouldn't really be any of my business," She said softly.

I shook my head at her, "Yes it would."

"But we agreed-" She started.

Putting a hand on hers, I interrupted with a small smile, "We were kidding ourselves."

Although she returned my smile, she lowered her eyes and muttered, "There's something else."

"What do you mean?" I asked, instantly worried again.

"Well, when they brought me in, they did an ultrasound and..." She paused for a minute, presumably to choose the correct words, "apparently you were right about Dr. Becker. He's about to have his medical license suspended due to various accusations and..."

Fury completely took over my body as I began to pace, "That bastard! I knew he was flirting with you. I should go pay the doctor a visit; no one messes with my Bones!"

"Booth!" She shouted to disrupt my angry ranting, "Its twins."

I just stared at her. Did she just say what I think she said? Twins... As in, two children instead of one? I could actually picture the kids running around as I made dinner, Bones struggling to keep them from creating a tornado in the living room. Not that I held out much hope for that fantasy, especially not unless I actually admitted my feelings to her. And even then, I had to realize that she might not reciprocate my feelings. It would be wonderful if she did though...

"A-Are you upset?"

Glancing up at her, I cursed my wandering mind, "Of course not! It's wonderful. I'm excited and happy, just like I always was."

She stared back at me for a long while, as if to verify that I was being honest and when she had finally decided, she chuckled softly, "Apparently I was right about your mating capabilities."

Just as I was about to return a witty retort, a female doctor carrying a metal clipboard strode into the room, "Seeley Booth, I assume?"

After shaking hands, she continued, "I'm Dr. Fields and I would like to sincerely apologize for Dr. Becker. I just spoke with the receptionist at his office and it appears that he... gave you the wrong ultrasound picture."

Bones and I exchanged annoyed looks and allowed the doctor to continue, "The good news is that both fetuses are healthy, despite what you experienced this evening. But take this as a warning; you must increase your iron intake. Also, missing a meal is no longer an option for you. You may go home now to rest."

Nodding like a child scolded, Bones put her jacket on and as we were leaving, the doctor handed her an ultrasound picture, "And congratulations on your girls."

"Girls?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Dr. Fields nodded, "Monozygotic – or identical – twin girls."

As she left us, I thought I saw a small smirk form on her lips. Girls. We're having twin girls. The idea hadn't even begun to settle in my mind that we were having twins, let alone two girls. Upon arriving back at Bones' house, I called Angela to let her know what happened, knowing that she would be as worried as I was. And after finally calming her down, I found Bones sitting on the couch looking utterly exhausted. As I sat down next to her, I sighed, "You know... I was terrified."

Sending me a sidelong glance, she asked, "Do you need a hug?"

Although I didn't mind the idea – in fact, I loved it – it shocked me that she would offer. It must have shown on my face because she began mumbling, "Because of the boy-hugs and you said you would hug me if you ever got scared..." She trailed off for a second, but eventually continued, "Never mind. I'm sorry."

"I know but we need to be more careful... And I've been thinking about this all night," I paused to turn towards her, "I'm moving in with you."

She opened her mouth in shock but didn't say anything for a moment. Finally, she found her voice and she didn't seem all that pleased, "No! You can't just invite yourself to live in my house."

Standing up, she moved to pace about her living room. Leaning back on the couch, I crossed my arms, "Bones, it's more important now that we know you're having twins. I can't let anything happen to you and the only way to ensure that is for me to be here with you."

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," She ranted, "This was just one mistake. I will learn from it and move on."

I sighed as I looked up at her from the couch, "I'm not changing my mind about this. Relax, Bones, I will try to stay out of your way and once the babies are born, I will move out."

Of course, as the words came out of my mouth, I knew that I was lying. I wanted to be with her forever, to always be there when she needed help; to protect her and show her what unconditional love was really about.

Glaring at me from her stance in the middle of the room, she crossed her arms and sighed, "Fine... I'll go make up the spare bed."

Jumping up to stop her from heading down the hall, I rubbed her arms lightly, "Its late don't worry about it for tonight. I'll sleep on the couch."

Still looking quite frustrated, she paused for a minute looking like she was going to try to argue with me. Finally, she sighed again and nodded, "Fine. I will see you in the morning."

Without another word, she stalked off down the hall to her bedroom. As frustrated as she was now, I knew it was for the best. In all honesty, I really was worried about her wellbeing. Pregnancy can be difficult on the body, let alone a twin pregnancy. Very soon, she would be thankful for my presence. Feeling reassured by that knowledge, I settled myself on the couch and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

From then on, I became something of a surrogate boyfriend for her. I woke up early every morning to make her breakfast, and finding something she would actually eat could be difficult. I drove her to the lab every morning and home every night. We went grocery shopping together and I even began visiting her family with her. On warm days, we tried to keep up our tradition of walking through the park by her apartment. Some nights I would watch TV while she wrote fervently on her laptop. As she grew comfortable with my presence, I fell deeper and deeper in love with her.

A couple of days before Valentine's Day, she stopped me in the hallway just as I was exiting the shower. Now, I wasn't in the habit of traipsing around her house half naked but on this particular occasion, I had forgotten to bring a shirt into the bathroom with me, thus leaving me half naked trying to sneak back into the spare room without disturbing her. By some sheer coincidence, or divine force, she was passing through the hall at the same time. Although this normally wouldn't cause an issue for two grown adults, she stopped dead in her tracks when she laid eyes upon me and blocked the way down the hall (unless of course, I wanted to shimmy my way by her). For a moment, she stood studying me and I felt somewhat uncomfortable in my own skin. Her eyes reflected some kind of need and just as I was about to ask her what was wrong, she spoke, "Do you find me sexually attractive?"

I think that had I not been freshly showered and relaxed, I might have fallen over. A brief sense of astonishment crossed my mind as I wondered if she meant currently or before she got pregnant. Even as I was questioning the distinction, I knew it didn't change the answer. It was merely that she had asked that I was shocked about. Running a hand through my still wet hair, I stuttered, "W-what?"

Looking perplexed at my need for clarification, Bones stood with her hands on her waist, "It is my understanding that some men find pregnant women sexually appealing while others do not. Did you and Rebecca remain sexually active while she was pregnant?"

"Whoa, whoa, Bones!" I exclaimed, raising my hands, "That is not something I am willing to talk about. Ever."

"Why not?" She questioned, "It is perfectly natural to have sexual urges, even when your partner is with child. I don't understand your aversion to discussing sex related topics."

Shaking my head, I made a weak attempt to pass by her in the hallway but ended up just being closer to her, "I just believe that it isn't... right to talk about certain things..."

Standing her ground, she asked, "With anyone or just me?"

Detecting a small measure of hurt behind her words, I looked down into her icy blue eyes, "Bones..."

She shook her head lightly and turned back into her room, "Forget it Booth."

Now alone in the hallway, I was completely lost. What just happened? I didn't see her again until the next morning, when she seemed to still be in deep thought. It wasn't until she declined my invitation for our traditional lunch together that I finally had to say something to her, "Bones. What did I do?"

Looking up at me from the file on her desk, she had a completely straight face and stated, "I'm sorry Booth, I should not have asked you about something so far out of your comfort zone."

Furrowing my brows at her, I spoke in a low voice, "Sex? Well, it's not necessarily out of my comfort zone. I just don't like..."

As I trailed off, she raised her eyebrows at me and completed my statement, "To talk about it? I know which is why I shouldn't have brought it up. I have just wondered if you ever thought about the night we had sexual intercourse."

Choking on thin air, I ducked as though I was being shot at, "Whoa! What? No! Why?"

Rolling her stunning cerulean eyes at me, she snorted, "Of course not. Look, all I was trying to say is that sometimes, I crave to satisfy my biological urges and I wondered if you ever felt the same way. Recently, I have found that my urges have become rather pronounced."

Staring at her in shock, I tried to piece together an understanding of what she just told me, "Bones... Did you just tell me that you're..." I paused but couldn't find a tasteful word to describe it, so I whispered, "...horny?"

She paused but nodded after a moment, "I suppose in the vernacular that is what I am saying."

Rubbing my chin thoughtfully, I couldn't decide how to respond. She is feeling...amorous. Meaning, she wants to have sex. So many thoughts raced through my mind. Truthfully, I should have expected this. Bones was never quiet about biological urges and the like. But what did she want me to do about it. As a possible realization dawned on me, I managed to choke out, "Are you s-suggesting that we...?"

Sitting back in her chair, she sighed, "It seemed to be the most logical solution, yes."

Gulping, I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet. I could hardly believe the situation I was in. The woman I love, the woman carrying my children, was basically asking me to have sex with her. But not _make love_. Her interests lie only in satisfying what she called biological urges. For me, it wasn't so simple. As if our relationship wasn't confusing enough, adding a sexual aspect to it would feel like removing gravity. How would I be able to distinguish our supposed partnership from an actual relationship? We had already smudged the line we weren't supposed to cross but this would be irreversible. When the time came for me to move out it would not feel like just moving out, it would feel like a breakup, like losing her. As much as I prided myself on being strong, I wasn't sure if I could endure that. Glancing back over at her, I was sure she already knew what I was about to say, "You know I can't do that."

She sighed and nodded, "I know, which is why I shouldn't have brought it up to you. I will have to find another way to satisfy those impulses."

"Another way? Like...?" I found myself asking, even though I was sure I probably didn't want the answer.

"Well," She remarked, "I suppose I could find someone else. I have a few former partners that would probably suffice, although it would pose the issue of sexual attraction during my current state."

"You're going to...sleep with someone else, while you have my children inside of you?" I asked incredulously, "You can't. It's just not right."

Narrowing her eyes at me, Bones retorted, "You can't tell me what I can and cannot do! We agreed not to restrict each others' opportunities at romance, why should sexual intercourse be any different? Besides, I asked you and you are unwilling."

Placing my hands on my hips, I stared at her, "You're using it against me that I can't just have sex with you? Because I believe in love and the importance of a deeper connection when you _make love_ to someone?"

Standing up from her chair, she leaned over her desk slightly and cried, "That seems hypocritical of you considering that we have already engaged in sexual intercourse _and_ you are judging me on my belief that you don't need to be in love to have a fulfilling sexual connection!"

As I was about to respond, the sound of someone clearing their throat halted my voice and nearly gave me a heart attack. Standing at the door was a very bemused looking Angela with a soft smirk on her face and a clipboard in her hand, "Am I interrupting something?"

Bones and I glanced at each other nervously and responded at the same time, "No!"

Rolling my eyes, I turned to Angela and managed a weak smile, "I was just leaving."

As I passed her, she pouted playfully, "Aww. No lunch today?"

One look into her eyes told me that she almost definitely heard what we were talking about. I sent a quick glance over my shoulder at Bones. She didn't look the slightest bit worried but I felt somewhat ill at ease for the rest of the day. And that evening when Bones didn't offer information on her conversation with Angela, I had to ask (lest it kill me to wonder for another night!). She sighed and set down the cup of tea she was carrying, "Yes, she heard."

"I knew it," I muttered.

"Booth," Bones started but paused to chew on her lip for a moment, "I'm sorry."

I must admit that I was a little taken aback by her words; it was pretty rare for her to apologize about something like this. Smiling, I pulled her in for a hug, "Don't worry about it."

As she pulled away, she explained, "It was unfair of me. I know how you feel about sexual intercourse and I shouldn't push my beliefs on you."

Running a finger softly across her cheekbone to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, I repeated, "Don't worry about it."

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she withdrew from my touch. As much as I regretted her departure, I didn't stop her as she mumbled goodnight and strolled to her room with her tea in hand. Massaging the back of my neck thoughtfully, I decided to call it a night too. Although I fell asleep quickly, I was awoken some time during the night by a soft knock on my door. Ever since being sent overseas with the army, I had turned into a light sleeper – a necessary skill for a soldier as it could mean the difference between life and death. Fearing the worst, I bolted upright and tried to distinguish a figure in the darkness but as my eyes were adjusting, I heard a quiet whisper, "Booth?"

Rubbing my eyes, I began to make out the creamy white tone of her shoulders and arms contrasting against her dark tank top and tousled hair. My voice came out in some kind of croak, "Bones? What's wrong?"

Still hanging in the doorway, she had her hands clasped in front of her, seeming rather timid for the woman I know and adore, "I... Can I talk to you for a second?"

I chuckled a little, "Of course. Come in."

Sliding into the room, I heard the door click shut and the shuffle of her feet as she inched her way over to the bed, "I'm sorry for waking you."

Finally her figure was clear to me even in the blackness of the spare bedroom. Patting the bed beside me, I yawned, "It's okay. I promise. Just come sit down."

I felt the bed dip as she slowly sat next to me and almost at once words began pouring out of her mouth, "Booth... I'm scared. What if I'm not a good mother? What if I end up like my parents?"

Reaching out in the darkness, I rubbed her arm gently, "Oh Bones, I know you will be a good mother and you would never abandon your children."

"But," She muttered as I felt a shiver roll through her, "How do you know that? What if something horrible happens and I have to leave them just like my parents did to me?"

As I listened to her worries, I almost couldn't believe I was listening to the same Bones I had worked with for years. The Bones that poked a voodoo man in the eyes; the same Bones that blasted her way out of a car buried in the ground; the Bones that tricked a serial killer and caught numerous murderers with me. Despite all that, I knew this was the part of Bones – my amazingly strong partner and best friend – that she rarely ever let anyone see. Overcome with adoration for her, I pulled her close to me and stroked small circles onto her back, "Bones, that's what I am here for. I work for the FBI and I will always be here to protect you and our kids. You will never have to make the same decision your parents were forced to make. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise to you?"

"No," She sniffled, "Thank you..."

As she trailed off, she began to pull back from my embrace and moved to get off the bed. Sensing she was not completely convinced, I grabbed her hand, "Bones... Stay in here with me tonight."

Through the obscurity of the room, I thought I saw her release a breath she had been holding but a quick glance at the clock told me I was probably seeing things out of exhaustion. But if that were really true, the delicate angel that slept in that bed with me must have been a hallucination too.

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**AN: Soo.... I'm not sure if the last two lines were too cheesy. Let me know what you think and I might revise it. :-)**


	7. Test Drive

**AN: Hey everyone! I would have had this chapter up sooner but FanFiction didn't want me to submit it (Error 3). I just finished watching Season5, Episode 4 and I really enjoyed it (from the accent thing to Parker's antics & the theme). Anyway, I just want to send out a heartfelt thanks to everyone who has reviewed, you guys have all been amazing and every time I read through the reviews, I feel like I should be putting out more chapters! So, please enjoy. :-)**

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**_Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic_  
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February passed just as quickly as the months before it and with the delivery date drawing nearer, March brought a heightened sense of anticipation with it. Although Dr. Fields confirmed Dr. Becker's due date of June 11, she also cautioned that early births are common with twin pregnancies. As the girls continued to develop, Bones continued to grow. She wasn't enormous or anything but her stomach protruded fairly far off her body but she still remained comfortable in the knowledge that the weight gain was necessary for the babies. Her comfort level with her weight didn't stop the inevitable from happening though, and much to Bones' dismay, Cam finally insisted that she remain in the lab until after the babies were born – citing not only the size of her stomach but also the inherent danger of field missions.

Also, Dr. Fields had been pestering us for weeks about getting into childbirth classes, even if we just went a couple of times throughout the rest of the pregnancy to get an idea of what the class was about. Bones kept insisting that it was unnecessary and she didn't want to waste time at a class that surely wouldn't be beneficial. Finally, at the beginning of March, I convinced her to attend a weekend-long session at the George Washington University Hospital that included childbirth tips and a session on having "multiples". Although she grumbled the entire way to the hospital about how silly these classes were and what a waste of an entire weekend this would be, I really hoped she would learn something from it.

Unfortunately, it quickly became clear that it wasn't likely to be beneficial. Bones, the genius that she is, spent the entire first morning interrupting the instructor to inform her of various problems with the anatomy of what she was discussing and vehement explanations of how impractical this class was. When we finally took a lunch break, Bones and I sat somewhat separated from the rest of the group. She seemed fairly irritated, so I decided not to talk to her about her actions. Halfway through my sandwich, another one of the mothers came to sit beside me and though we both tried to ignore her, she whispered, "You're not married to her, are you?"

Bones, who apparently had supersonic hearing, muttered, "Marriage is an archaic ritual that propagates the superiority of males over females. What is so appealing about that?"

Appearing hurt by Bones' words, the woman crossed her arms and scoffed, "Spoken like a true feminist that could never understand the kind of intimate unity provided by marriage."

Having had this discussion many times before, Bones countered quickly, "I don't need a piece of paper to prove my commitment. And I am not a feminist."

"No other woman would look at marriage as a contract, as a burden," The other woman asserted and pointed an accusing finger at Bones, "YOU are a feminist."

Bones opened her mouth to continue the debate but I put my hands up to stop it, "Whoa, whoa! Ladies, calm down. This is not something you need to argue about. To each their own, right?"

Sighing, Bones turned back to her sandwich and ignored the lady, probably hoping that she would just go away. Although I was hoping for the same thing, neither of us got what we wanted. She didn't seem to get the hint and began caressing my bicep, "I bet you believe in marriage... You know, my husband left me when I told him I was pregnant..."

As I stared at her in complete shock, Bones grabbed my other arm and glared at the offending woman, "Just because we're not married doesn't mean that we're not devoted."

My mouth involuntarily dropped open and I turned to Bones, a silent question in my eyes. Without looking away from my partner's stone tinted eyes, I heard the other woman slink away from our table. Turning her gaze back to mine, Bones didn't remove her hand from my arm and smiled weakly, "Well... We are. Aren't we?"

Pausing to think about the multitude of different ways I could interpret that statement, I grinned back and draped my arm over her shoulder, "Yes we are."

The rest of the day went about as well as the first half and we didn't end up returning for the second day of classes at all. Bones had definitely made up her mind about the worth of the classes and who was I to oppose her logic? During the following week, the squints started to ask all the typical questions we had been ignoring for months. What are we going to name the girls? Do we have both nurseries ready (at both our houses)? And various other questions. It was about that time that I set about designing the nursery at Bones' place. After much discussion, we decided not to impose pink upon our girls and settled for a pale yellow room with dark mahogany furniture and sage green accents. Due to Bones' success with her books, there really was no budget, so we purchased car seats, strollers, high chairs, change tables, and cribs galore (perhaps exaggerating a little there but it seemed like a lot at the time).

That weekend Rebecca and her flavor of the month planned a trip to Vegas, so Parker came to stay with us in her absence. I had kind of expected him to find it weird that I was living with my partner but the eight year old didn't seem to think anything of it. We talked with him at dinner about how he was going to have two little sisters that he would have to look out for and after looking pensive for a moment, he glanced over at me from under his long curls, "Can you make me a little brother next?"

Across the table from me, Bones had just taken a sip of water and subsequently was trying desperately not to spit it all over the table. I couldn't help but find the question thoroughly hilarious, so I burst out laughing and put my hand on Parker's shoulder, "Of course, Bub. But we can't make any promises."

Now having swallowed her water, Bones stared at me wide eyed with an obvious question written on her face. I really meant what I said to Parker about trying, although, it wasn't all that likely. Then again, thinking over the last few months, our relationship had really changed, other than just the obvious things like living together and such. But whether we acknowledged it or not, there really was no imaginary line between us anymore. Returning her gaze, I simply shrugged.

Later that evening, the three of us sat down on the couch to watch a Disney movie Parker had insisted on bringing. I really hadn't expected Bones to stick around to watch such a movie but I definitely didn't object to her presence. About halfway through the cartoon, she began shifting as if suddenly uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, she whispered, "They're restless."

Smirking lightly, I rested my hand on her swollen stomach. Almost as if responding to my touch, I felt a distinct kick (or maybe it was a punch, it was kind of hard to tell) and I couldn't help but feel excitement build deep in my stomach. Returning my smile, Bones turned to Parker and asked softly, "Park, do you want to feel the girls moving?"

My son's eyes lit up obviously mirroring my own enthusiasm and he very cautiously placed his small hand on Bones' stomach next to mine. After a few moments, he gasped, "Whoa! What are they doing in there?"

Laughing at Parker's amazed expression I looked up at Bones to find that her eyes were trained on my son's face. Although it would have surprised me a year ago, I could clearly see the love in her eyes just as I had during our skating outing. It had truly put me at ease that the two people I cared about most in this world were so accepting of each other. Just as I knew that Bones would be an excellent mother, I was certain that Parker would be a fantastic older brother.

After I put Parker to bed in what had become my bedroom, Bones and I sat up talking about our current case and eventually the girls' names. While tracing a circular pattern on her stomach, Bones spoke thoughtfully, "I would like to name one of them after my mother."

"Ruth or Christine?" I joked as I lightly jabbed at her shoulder.

Swatting my hand away, she ignored the question, "What do you think of Bridget?"

"It sounds like an old lady name," I crinkled my nose at her.

Glaring at me, she responded, "It's a nice name. Like Brigid of Ireland, the Patron Saint of babies – specifically those whose parents are not married."

Crossing my arms, I scoffed, "That makes it worse! And how do you know so much about the Patron Saints?"

She sighed heavily, "I spent a lot of time looking for your Christmas present," At which point a wide smile crept onto my face but she interrupted with a question, "Well, what names have you thought of?"

"How about Emma?" I offered.

"Like the book by Jane Austin?" She asked.

Furrowing my brow, I shook my head, "No, like the baby on 'Friends', the girl off Harry Potter or even the Spice Girl."

She paused to think about those names for a minute but ended up shaking her head at me too, "I don't know who any of those people are but I think Russ' stepdaughter's name is Emma."

"Wait, what do you mean 'you think'?" I asked incredulously.

Scratching her head, she said, "Jenna?"

"You do realize that is a very famous porn star, right?" I snorted then suggested, "Ava."

"Oh, like Ava Gardner, Frank Sinatra's second wife?" She seemed far too excited about knowing that.

Dismissing her excited response, I countered, "Emily?"

"Hmm..." She thought aloud, "Don't I know someone named Emily? It's kind of...plain."

"Never mind," I mumbled, "Bardot?"

We bantered back and forth about names for quite some time without coming to any conclusions but I quite enjoyed the verbal sparring. Finally, when she could barely keep her eyes open, I suggested that we continue the discussion another day. She agreed wholeheartedly almost as if she had been waiting for me to propose it first. After saying our lingering 'goodnights', I paused in front of the door to my bedroom and contemplated how to sneak in, change and get into bed without waking Parker.

From just down the hall, Bones cleared her throat softly, "If you don't want to wake Parker, you can... stay with me tonight..."

Not one to refuse spending time with Bones, I agreed and headed into her room. She climbed in first while I awkwardly stripped down to my briefs and then crawled followed her into bed. At once, the details of the last time I was in her bed flooded my mind. While allowing myself to relive the memory I pulled her body close to mine, lightly rested my hand on her stomach and drifted off to sleep.

We spent the rest of the weekend with these sleeping arrangements at night, while passing the days with Parker. On Sunday evening after a walk through the park that quickly resulted in a snowball fight (despite the fact that the snow was half melted) I tucked my son into bed while Bones cleaned up our mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows. Despite vehemently insisting he wasn't sleepy, Parker yawned, "Dad, I want to stay with you and Bones next weekend too."

Regret sprang up into my throat but I forced my voice to be level, "Me too Bub. But you know what? Your mom loves you and wants to spend the weekend with you too. You can stay with us again in two weeks."

He nodded sadly and rubbed his eyes. Kissing him gently on the forehead, I whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too dad... and Bones too."

Leaving the room, my heart swelled with pride on behalf of both my son and Bones. For a brief moment, I wondered what she would have done if she'd heard Parker's little confession. Entering the living room, I found Bones sitting on the end of the couch rubbing her shoulders. Grinning at her personal massage attempt, I snuck up behind the sofa and whispered over the back of it into her ear "Bones! What are you doing?"

Jumping slightly at my proximity, she ceased her fingers' movements and shrugged, "I'm just sore. This is a lot of extra weight to be carrying around, you know."

Smiling down at my partner, I found my way to a spot next to her on the couch and said, "Let me try."

At her sceptical expression, I feigned hurt, "What? You don't believe in my massage abilities? I am very good with my hands."

For a second, I thought I saw a blush creep across her cheeks but it disappeared as she straightened her back, "No, I believe you... Where would you like me to sit?"

My mind mentally ran through a list of places but I pushed myself as far back on the couch as I could get and spread my legs. Tapping the section of sofa in between my legs, I grinned, "Right here."

Quirking an eyebrow at me, she stared for a minute before moving to the requested spot. And so I was presented with her very warm body between my legs, shoulders bare due to the white tank top she was wearing. Gulping, I began to massage her shoulders, neck and eventually, further down her back. Every now and then, she moaned faintly and I had to suppress my ardent 'biological urges'. After what was likely to have been half an hour, Bones began to lean back against me until I ceased my massaging and wrapped my arms around her swollen midsection. Tilting her head back, she rested it against the crook of my neck and mumbled, "That was amazing... Thank you."

Turning my head slightly I was greeted by Bones' outstretched ivory neck and the light but extremely alluring scent of lilies and vanilla. An involuntary shudder rolled through my body. With my lips mere millimetres from her pale skin, I breathed, "Anytime..."

We both jumped when the infuriating sound of my cell phone ring shattered the moment. For a moment, I really thought about not answering it, claiming that I was asleep to whoever decided that now was a good time to call me. But upon realizing it was only 8:00pm, I gave in and rummaged through my pocket to stop the incessant sound. Bones jumped away from the couch and into the kitchen. Cursing mentally, I growled into the phone, "This had better be important."

"Am I interrupting something?"

Cam. Damnit. That meant it was work related. Running a hand through my hair, I sighed, "No. It's fine. Do we have a case?"

"It's a gory one at the base of the Jefferson memorial."

"Be right there," I groaned and hung up the phone.

Glancing over at the kitchen, I saw Bones leaning against the counter holding a mug with a tight smile on her face, "Cam?"

As I nodded, she glanced down at the cup in her hands with a very distinctly dejected look on her face. Striding over to her, I guided her face back up to mine and said, "Bones... I'm sorry. I won't be long."

The fake smile had fallen off her beautiful features and she simply shook her head, "I wish I could come."

"Cam says it's still pretty...fleshy," I joked but paused when I saw her cringe as I spoke Cam's name, "You know I wish you were coming too, right?"

For a minute, she seemed to study my face but then took a deep breath and replied, "Its okay, I have to stay with Parker."

I brushed her smooth brown hair back from her face and leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the cheek, "Thank you."

With one last quick glance over her sad eyes, I turned and headed out of the apartment. Bundling myself up against the cold wind, I muttered, "Stupid work..."

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**AN #2: So, I kind of think the ending line or so is kind of week but I couldn't come up with something monumentally better, so I figured I should leave it as is (lest I make it worse). Just out of curiosity, does anyone have name suggestions?**


	8. Defining Moments

**AN: Oh man. I feel sooo bad about how long it has taken me to release this chapter. The past two weekends have been overrun with family activities (my Grandma was visiting from Florida this weekend and the weekend before was Canadian Thanksgiving) and midterms are kicking my butt! Anyways, I should properly warn everyone that this chapter contains a few characters going a little bit OOC. I tried my hardest to keep it true but in order to fit with the story line, it had to be done. Btw, thanks to everyone who submitted baby names and reviews! Please enjoy.**

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**_Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic_  
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The next morning, I awoke to find Booth in my bed lying very close to me with his arm draped over the top of my bulging belly. It was impossible to place exactly what time he got home the previous night but at that particular moment I found myself not caring. Slowly climbing out of bed I gazed down at his resting body and sighed slightly. His features were still as bold as ever but with a subtle upturn of the corner of his lips, he struck me as very peaceful. After dressing, I headed out to the kitchen to make breakfast for Booth and Parker. In my bleary morning state, I realized quite suddenly that this was the first morning I had made breakfast since Booth moved in with me. Why hadn't I realized sooner how lucky I was? He really tried to make things easier for me and I hadn't even thanked him. In fact, I was trying to pressure him into doing things he didn't really want to do – which he still refused to do, by the way.

After I had put some bread in the toaster and set out some peanut butter - which I knew was Booth's favourite - Parker trudged into the kitchen and plopped down on a chair. He rubbed his eyes and mumbled, "What's for breakfast?"

Realizing I didn't have very much food that a child would like, I began rummaging through my cupboards, "What do you like?"

"Well," He said through droopy eyes, "My mom makes me toast but dad lets me eat Coco Puffs."

Chuckling to myself in the cupboard, I finally found the box of cereal Russ had brought for his girls when they were visiting. Holding it up for Parker's inspection, I asked, "Will... Fruit Loops do?"

Judging by the light in his eyes the answer must have been yes, although he didn't say anything due to a large yawn that took over. After getting Parker's breakfast ready, I headed back into my bedroom to wake up Booth. I quickly found that such a task could be easier said than done but when he finally opened his eyes, he looked up at me and a slow smile spread across his face. Reaching up to bury his hand in my hair, he breathed, "Good morning."

I involuntarily sucked in a deep breath and held it in my lungs. The way he was looking at me right now made me suddenly very confused. With a start, I realized that I had seen this look on Sully's face just before he told me he loved me. Stumbling back from the bed, I put my hands on my hips and stared at him. Surely he isn't in love with me. He simply can't be. We're partners. There is a line. Well... There used to be anyway. If there was still a line it was definitely blurred by an insurmountable amount of intimate interaction – having a child together in the "traditional" fashion, living together, sleeping together.

Booth was now sitting propped up on his elbow, staring at me with a look of wonder on his face. The covers had fallen back to show the smooth skin of his muscular chest. I gulped, "I made breakfast."

Without leaving room for more conversation, I turned and headed back into the kitchen to sit at the table with Parker. A few minutes later, Booth sauntered into the room with his shirt half buttoned, carrying his suit jacket. He poured himself a coffee and sat down for a quick breakfast. Once Parker had finished his bowl of cereal, he started talking and didn't stop until we dropped him off at school a few minutes before 9 o'clock. Just before leaving, he insisted on giving me a hug and a quick rub on my stomach (apparently to say goodbye to the girls), after which a quick glance over at Booth revealed he still had _that_ look on his face. I silently stared out the window for the rest of the drive to the Jeffersonian.

Upon arrival, I ducked into my office for a much needed reprieve. What would it mean if Booth was actually in love with me? I couldn't help but think it would change everything. Would we still be allowed to be partners? What about the necessity of the line between partners and lovers? As these questions (and many others) ran through my head, I realized that I couldn't answer any of them. Logically speaking, most of my questions were built upon one principle: that Booth is in love with me and I am in love with him. Therefore, the answers to all other problems are entirely irrelevant unless that principle was true. But how do I know if we are both in love with each other? Even my assessment of the look he had in his eyes this morning could be completely false; after all, I am not good with people and their expressions. Of course, that led me to wonder why I would fabricate seeing love in Booth's eyes. Does that indicate that I love him?

By lunchtime, I was making myself dizzy with the questions swirling around in my head and I decided that I needed a distraction. Wandering around the Medico-Legal Lab, I was hoping to find Booth for our traditional lunch but after almost a half an hour, I hadn't seen him. Popping into Angela's office, I asked, "Hey Ange, have you seen Booth?"

Glancing up from a sketch she was working on, she quirked an eyebrow at me, "Yeah, he and Cam just left to meet with Sweets about the suspect in the Jefferson Memorial case."

"Oh," I stared down at my feet dejectedly. Why am I so upset? It's not logical for me to go into the field anymore, so I shouldn't expect to be included on every aspect of the case as I usually am. I wonder if Booth and Cam will get lunch together as well, like we usually do. But the case should take precedence over having lunch anyway, so maybe they won't. Not that I would care if they did...

Angela must have seen the confliction on my face because she stood up and began pulling me out of her office with our arms linked, "Come have lunch with me, sweetie. It has been a while since we talked."

Reluctantly, I followed Angela to lunch but I couldn't get Booth off my mind. I was unable to place why exactly but I felt extremely left out and spent much of our lunch in silence as Angela talked about the changes she was making in her life. On the walk back to the lab, I finally succumbed to her harassing and told her about my weekend with Booth and his son. A sense of realization crossed her face as she gave me a quick hug, "Bren, I want you to trust me for once. Everything will work out. I promise."

Although I didn't wholly understand the statement, I nodded and headed up the forensics platform. I spent the rest of the day examining the remains while trying desperately not to think about Booth. After one too many snippy comments towards my coworkers, Wendell pulled me aside and very cautiously asked, "Dr. Brennan... Have we done something to upset you? You seem... irritated."

Staring at the blonde intern, I realized that he was right – I was being rude to them. It isn't their fault that I can't understand my relationship with Booth, that I am confused about my own feelings. Crossing my arms, I sighed, "Mr. Bray. You're right; I have been taking out my personal frustrations on you. I apologize."

Obviously shocked by my response, he shuffled his feet, "Is it something you want to talk about?"

"Not really," I shook my head, "I think it's just hormonal vacillation due to the pregnancy."

He nodded, "I understand. My sister in law was the same way; angry one minute, laughing the next."

Nodding along with him, I thought aloud, "Maybe that explains it. With my hormones fluctuating constantly, I would obviously be prone to sexual and romantic attraction that I wouldn't experience otherwise."

Taking a small step backwards, Wendell crossed then uncrossed his arms, "Uh... This is one of those moments where I'm hallucinating, right? Just like Angela said."

Attempting to analyze his perplexed expression, I furrowed my brows at him, "I don't know what you mean."

"W-Well, she said that if I ever thought you said something... i-inappropriate, I must be hallucinating," He stumbled over his words.

Now it was my turn to be confused, I responded, "Although I don't believe I have said anything inappropriate, it is possible for you to be hallucinating but that would depend on what you think I said and your current mental state. Are you feeling all right?"

"I-I don't know," Wendell muttered, "You said you are sexually and romantically attracted to someone you wouldn't normally be interested in... Right?"

"Yes. You are not delusional."

He gulped and gave me a sideways glance, "But who is that person?"

Turning my eyes toward my enlarged abdomen, I stated weakly, "I don't believe that is any of your business."

Releasing a long breath he ran a hand through his hair, which reminded me immediately of Booth, "Oh! So it's not uh...me?"

Looking up at him abruptly, I chuckled, "While I admit that you have highly symmetrical features and a prominent brow ridge, all of which are important in attractiveness, no it is not you."

Clasping his hands together, he nodded, "Okay. Good. Thanks, I think?"

Allowing my hands to rest on my stomach, I glanced back over at the remains on the forensics table but ended up with my eyes on the couple standing at the bottom of the stairs to the forensics platform. Cam stood with her arms crossed over her chest, eyes downcast while Booth gazed down at her. They spoke in hushed whispers, so I couldn't catch any of their conversation. But when Booth placed his hands on her shoulders, I forced my eyes away. A wave of annoyance passed over me and I re-crossed my arms, as if to hold my feelings in. I felt as though someone was squeezing my heart while it beat rapidly in my chest. Wendell, who I completely forgot was still standing in front of me, put a warm hand on my shoulder and smiled sympathetically at me, "It will all work out eventually."

Assessing the honesty in his eyes, I groaned, "You are the second person to tell me that today."

"Hey, that must mean that it is true," He grinned. And when I didn't return his smile, he offered jokingly, "Would a hug make you feel better?"

As a smirk broke out across my face, he seemed to have achieved the response he wanted. From our left, someone cleared their throat, "Am I interrupting something?"

I turned towards Booth's voice causing Wendell's hand to fall from my shoulder. Without responding, I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. Peripherally, I noticed Wendell shift his weight and nervously wring his hands, "I think I hear Hodgins calling me..."

As Wendell made his escape, Booth muttered an apology about being so late, blaming it on a last minute search warrant. We spent the rest of the night in near silence and after an awkward exchange in the hallway at my place, we slept in separate rooms. Over the following month or so, I struggled through my workdays without Booth and grimace through my evenings with him. Every time I saw him with Cam, a sharp pain ripped through my chest but I couldn't – or perhaps wouldn't – attribute it to my having feelings for him.

April was a difficult month for me. As much as I didn't mind the weight I had gained, I found it difficult to get around and frustrating to always be treated differently (by coworkers to complete strangers). It was during April that I spent most of my time away from my own house and more importantly, from Booth. It wasn't that I didn't want to be around him but rather that I found it too difficult. Day and night I thought about him and what feelings I might have for him. After some length, I came to the conclusion that I do have feelings for him – the evidence was irrefutable. What I couldn't figure out, however, was the depth of those feelings and whether they were pre-existing or just due to my pregnancy and hormones. I spent the better part of the month battling with myself about the possibilities.

When I wasn't drowning my thoughts with work, I found myself uncharacteristically seeking out personal relations – purely platonic, of course – to occupy my time and thoughts. Although Angela was more than willing to monopolize my spare time, I felt the need to spread myself out amongst a number of my coworkers, friends and family. Hodgins and I visited Zack more than just a handful of times over the month and my previous assistant seemed in very high spirits when we came to visit. Also, I sought out my father and brother more than I had in the past ten years, which naturally aroused their suspicions. Even more strangely, I found that I quite enjoyed Wendell's company. Although he was quite a few years younger than me, I considered him to be very bright with great potential for growth. Also, his financial, cultural and personal situations gave him a fierce drive to do his best which I found very admirable. We went for dinner a couple of times throughout April and talked about whatever came to mind. He always had the most interesting stories and I found it easy to pass time with him.

With May came increasingly warm weather and unfortunately increased cases of "Braxton Hicks" for me. The first time I really felt them (and I mean _really felt them_), I was out for dinner with Wendell. Surprisingly, he knew exactly what was going on and suggested a remedy – deep, calming breaths and slow, steady movement. After they died down, he insisted on taking me home so that I could rest, which led to a very uncomfortable conversation with Booth, who was just returning from the office. The next day while I was writing up a report on some bones I was working on out of the modular skeletal storage room (also known as "Limbo", although I still don't like the term), Booth strode into my office and closed the door behind him. Looking up from my work, I involuntarily gulped. He looked upset.

After pacing for a moment, Booth finally stopped and leaned over the desk with his hands firmly planted, "What did I do?" He paused for a moment but didn't wait for an answer, "Why are you pushing me away? Are you dating someone now? Wendell, maybe?"

Leaning back in my chair, I sighed heavily, "No, Booth. I'm not."

Looking incredibly frustrated, he fell back into a chair and crossed his arms, "Then what is going on? You're never home and you barely talk to me anymore."

Glancing down at my clasped hands, I felt very guilty. It really fair of me to treat him this way for something he had no control over. In fact at that moment, with Booth staring at me looking so hurt, I felt like a child being scolded for spilling milk. Looking back up at him, I tried my best to keep my voice steady as I mumbled, "I... I'm sorry. I just hate this. That Cam gets to go in the field with you and I have to sit around here. It is just easier if I don't hear about what I'm missing..."

Leaning forward in his chair, he thought for a moment then said, "Bones... You know I would prefer if you could come with me but right now it's just not possible. But your due date is about month away and then once the girls are a little older, everything can go back to normal."

At first my heart skipped a beat at that idea but then I grasped the underlying meaning. Everything going back to normal meant that Booth would move back to his own apartment too. The thought of my apartment being empty again made me feel lonely already. Gazing into Booth's soft brown eyes, I realized how much I didn't want him to leave me. But in the back of my mind nagged the same question I had been battling with for over a month and I smiled softly, "You're right..."

Smirking at me, he stood up and stretched a little, "Let's have dinner tomorrow. It's exactly a month before your due date; I think a small celebration is in order."

Crinkling my eyebrows, a full smile broke out on my face, "Wouldn't it make more sense to celebrate the day the girls are born?"

As he was heading towards the door of my office, he turned back and winked, "That's not the only thing we can celebrate. I'll pick you up here at 6."

Without another word, he turned the corner and disappeared. Laughing a little to myself, I couldn't help but be a bit excited to spend time with him again. Although we didn't talk much for the rest of the day or much of the day after, it was obvious that we were in better spirits and held no grudges. As six o'clock grew nearer and nearer, my anticipation grew. By 5:30, I was sitting in my office with my purse and jacket ready to go just in case Booth was early to pick me up. At about ten to six, Cam strolled into my office dressed in a backless red shirt and tight black pencil skirt and handed me a file, "Here is my autopsy report for the girl found in the nursing home attic... Have you seen Booth?"

Looking up from the file sharply, I narrowed my eyes at her, "No. Why?"

She seemed to pause for a moment at the tone of my response but a second later, she shook her head, "I found an anomaly that might help him identify the girl but I thought we could discuss it over dinner."

No sooner had she finished her sentence, when a slew of emotions overtook me and my mind began to race with unanswered questions. I felt like crying, throwing things and vomiting all at once. Did he forget that we are supposed to have dinner? Would he cancel plans with me to be with Cam? Furthermore, were they meeting as coworkers or more? How long had this been going on? How could I have missed it? And most importantly, does he love her or me – or neither?

With my thoughts in a jumble, I stood up but barely moved away from my chair as a wave of nausea hit me and I muttered, "H-How could he?"

Raising her eyebrows in alarm, Cam reached out to steady me, "Dr. Brennan, are you all right?"

Wrenching my arm away from her grasp, I suddenly felt insanely angry at her. Logically I knew that I really didn't _know_ anything about the situation but I was overcome by my _feelings_ about it. Cam and I were never close but I considered us to be friends. How could someone I respect and trust betray me? Glaring at her hand, I growled, "Don't touch me. This is your fault."

For a minute she stared at me with her mouth hanging open. Once she collected her thoughts, she stuttered, "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Booth," I hissed, "We had plans this evening and you insist on getting in the way."

Crossing her arms, she straightened her back and defiantly snapped, "With all due respect Dr. Brennan, you have no idea what you're talking about. Besides, you refused to speak to him for well over a month, what did you expect him to do? Sit around and wait for you?"

Taking a step closer to her, I knew she was right but words spewed out of my mouth, "B-But that was because I didn't understand... I hate being left behind, he knows that. You know that! How could you do this?"

As I spoke, I realized I didn't fully understand what _this_ was but I felt that it was something big. Dr. Saroyan stood her ground and replied with a question, "Are you certain that you are upset because you hate being left behind or is it because you don't want Booth to leave you behind?"

In my mind, the concepts had blurred and as my eyes threatened to tear up, I cried, "Of course I don't want Booth to leave me behind! He is my partner, my friend, the father of my children-"

My voice was involuntarily shaking with emotion when Cam interrupted me, "Your lover?"

"Yes," I blurted before my brain could stop me, "I love him!"

Time seemed to stop in that moment and I found myself suspended in a sort of confused clarity. I do love him. With all of my heart. There is no use in denying that anymore. Every moment leading up to the night we had sexual intercourse – no, the night we made love brought me closer and closer to the realization I was so desperately trying to avoid and every moment after cemented the same realization until I was forced to finally see it. I have loved him since he was blown up for me, since he gave me Brainy Smurf and Jasper, since he started to open up to me... for as long as I could remember. I was – still am – in love with Seeley Booth. Letting out a deep breath, I fell back into my chair.

Uncrossing her arms, Cam grinned, "Tell him."

Glancing up at her, I realized the deviousness behind her smirk. She planned this. Before I could come up with a response, she turned on her heel and headed out of my office, passing Booth on his way in. The two exchanged brief nods but didn't speak to each other, leaving me staring after Cam in complete shock. Once Booth laid his eyes on me, concern clouded his face, "Bones, are you okay?"

Shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts, I began gathering my purse and jacket, "Yes, I'm fine. Let's go."

The rest of the night was spent in a strange mixture of tension and relief – I was tense because I hadn't completely come to grips with the revelation and relieved to finally spend time with Booth again. By the time we were home and heading to bed, I was struggling to find the words to tell him how I feel. I never was one for the expression of feelings and truthfully, I had never been the first in a relationship to reveal my feelings. And this was a hundred times more confusing because I wasn't fully certain what kind of relationship Booth and I had. With a small smile, Booth said good night and strolled off towards his room. A small lump formed in my throat but I managed to call out to his retreating back, "Booth! Wait..."

As I trailed off he turned back to me with surprise evident on his face. As he waited patiently, I fumbled with the words, "W-would you like... Um... Will you stay with me tonight?"

For a moment he didn't move, didn't betray any emotion on his features. As I was beginning to feel self conscious, he smiled, "Yes. I will."

As I drifted off to sleep with his warm arms enveloping me, I sighed contently. Feeling my movement, he tightened his embrace and I felt him kiss my shoulder softly. Smiling into the darkness, I knew I had to find a way to tell him... or better yet, show him. Soon...

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**AN #2: Okay, the ending is kind of lame. And some OOC action in this chapter. Oh well. It is all going to work out soon! Reviews are always appreciated! :-)**


	9. Patience is a Virtue

**AN: Hello! I would just like to send out a quick and heartfelt thanks to everyone who reads, reviews and even subscribes to story alerts. It is constantly reminding me not to be lazy! Anyway, the reason for the wait for this chapter is because a lot happens in it and I think I rewrote it about three times (the ending anyway, which I am still not 100% happy with). A quick note that there is probably only one more chapter to this story. I do intend on doing a sequel in December when I have more time to write. Oh, and beware of fluff... There is a lot of it coming. Enjoy!**

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**_Those Damn Clowns - A Bones Fanfic_  
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"Ange, can you zoom in more?" Bones had her arms crossed over her chest, staring intently at the image splayed across the huge screen in Angela's office. I tried my hardest to figure out what she was looking at but it just seemed like blobs to me.

"Brennan, we've been through this before. The more I zoom, the more degraded the image becomes."

"I know Angela but... I just know that if we could look a little closer, I could figure out this pattern..." She trailed off and continued to study the image before us with her mouth open slightly, betraying her state of deep concentration. The usual vibrant blue of her eyes had hardened into a steely grey, which I realized often happened when something was perplexing her. Her back was slightly arched to counteract the weight of her large stomach and she had let her hair grow out so that her soft curls rested on her shoulder blades. Finally, her expression cleared and a small smirk spread across her face, "I know what it is."

Before Angela and I could react, Bones dashed out of the room – presumably to go to her office. Staring out the door, I couldn't help but smile. Moments like this were the reason why I love her. She is amazingly intelligent and so passionate about everything she does. It is so easy to get caught up in her enthusiasm and excitement, even regarding the more uninteresting topics. Sometime during my rambling thoughts, Angela moved to stand close to my right side. Elbowing me lightly, she smirked, "She's pretty amazing, isn't she?"

Hooking my hands on my hips, I mumbled, "Yeah... She is."

"And you had a chance with her," Angela muttered before walking back to her desk and taking a seat.

Sending her a sidelong glance, I tried not to betray any emotion in my voice, "What do you mean?"

With a loud sigh, she leaned back in her chair and stared at me thoughtfully. After a few moments, she inspected her nails while responding nonchalantly, "Well, she has been seeing Wendell a lot lately and quite frankly, I think she got sick of waiting for you to make a move."

"Make a move?" I echoed.

"Yes," She stated while crossing her arms, "You somehow managed to spend one passionate night with her and completely botch telling her how you feel about her for a solid seven and a half months. How you managed that, I have no idea!"

Glancing over at her, I narrowed my eyes, "Who says I have feelings for her?"

Laughing lightly, she raised her eyebrows and retorted, "Everyone that has ever seen you two interact. Besides, I don't like to brag but I am kind of an expert with this kind of thing."

Looking quickly down at my feet, I realized she was right. People have been asking about my relationship with Bones since we first became a team. While we continued to deny it, everyone continued to suspect. And she was severely understating a fact when she said she is kind of an expert. I knew that if there was anyone I could wholly trust regarding this kind of thing, Angela was it. With a heavy sigh, I nodded, "You're right... What do I do?"

Although she looked surprised for a split second, she quickly rose from her chair and strode over to me, "That is simple. You do something for her, something romantic, and then confess your love."

"Oh sure, it sounds simple when you say it like that," I scoffed.

Raising her hands in surrender, Angela chuckled, "Okay, maybe you're right about that. But you need to tell her how you feel. You're not helping anyone by bottling your feelings inside for fear of losing her."

Absentmindedly running a hand through my hair, I nodded again and suddenly a brilliant thought came to me, "I know exactly what to do!"

Without another word I bolted out of her office. Just before I was out of earshot, I heard Angela sigh, "It's so romantic."

A week later I had all the preparations in order and although she seemed suspicious when I asked her, Bones agreed to cancel her plans for Thursday of that week – her suspicions were likely aroused because when she suggested we postpone it to another day, I vehemently insisted that it had to be on Thursday. My only other concern was that she wouldn't be feeling well enough to want to go out that night. Since the beginning of May, she had been regularly experiencing Braxton Hicks and various other uncomfortable side effects of her pregnancy. And if she was feeling unwell on Thursday, I simply couldn't and wouldn't insist on her leaving the house – especially because I tried (unsuccessfully) all week to get her to stay home from work.

The mere two days between Thursday and when I asked Bones to spend the evening with me seemed to drag on forever. But when the day finally arrived, I found myself absurdly nervous and yet completely unwilling to change my mind about my planned confession. Somewhere along the line I came to the decision that not knowing was worse than being rejected – at least then I could move on. That day was one of the longest I have ever experienced and when the clock hit six, I was out of my office and in the medico-legal lab in record time. Upon arriving, I found Bones in her office with her coat laid across her lap and her purse sitting on the desk in front of her. Smirking at her, I motioned towards the door, "Shall we?"

With a small laugh, she let me lead her out of the lab – past a group of smirking squints – and to my SUV. When we arrived at her apartment she sent me a slightly confused look, to which I responded, "This is a dress up kind of dinner."

"Thanks for the warning," She muttered despite not looking the least bit upset.

Upon entry to the suite, we headed off in separate directions to prepare. I didn't have much self preparation to do (other than psyching myself up, which I had spent the whole day doing), so I spent my time confirming the details of the evening. After about a half an hour, I headed out into the living room to wait for Bones. Shortly after seven o'clock, I heard her coming down the hallway from her room and I stood immediately to receive her. When I laid eyes upon her for the first time that evening, I was suddenly short of breath. She was dressed in a deep purple strapless dress that pulled tight under her bust and cascaded to her knees, flowing over the curve of her abdomen. She had pinned her hair in a half updo leaving the majority of her soft curls free around her shoulders. Clearing my throat finally, I offered her my arm, "Temperance, you look... wow."

As she took my arm, Bones almost imperceptibly blushed and laughed, "Thank you."

On our way to the SUV, Bones tried to probe me for information as to where we were going but I refused to divulge anything, claiming that it was a secret. Luckily for her, she didn't have to wait long as our destination was only five minutes away at best. After parking across the street from where I planned to take her, I got out to open her door and offered her my arm again. Without hesitation, she accepted it – which I perceived as a good sign. Even that simple contact of our skin made my heart beat a little bit faster, made me want her in my arms forever.

When we had crossed the street and headed down towards the pier, she gasped and turned to me, "Are we at the pier?"

Without responding, I smirked at her and continued to lead her through the pier and out to a moderately sized yacht. Sending me a look of disbelief, Bones asked quietly, "A dinner cruise?"

Nodding slightly, I led her further up the dock to where a man in uniform was waiting with a list. Upon registering my name, another man in a uniform led us down the dock, through the boat and up to the yacht's upper deck. The cabin he introduced us to was reasonably sized with large panoramic windows around the entire perimeter. Set into a corner was a large round table with a u-shaped plush booth seat and a candle center piece. Extending from either side of the booth were long rows of low cupboards and on the adjacent wall was a small kitchenette. Arranged along the top of the cupboards were a dozen bunches of daffodils in short, clear vases. The middle of the room was left open under a small light fixture, whose glow cast out to reach all corners of the suite but was dim enough to provide a calm intimacy. Opposite to the staircase we had entered by, there was a sliding door which I knew led to a large open air deck. After inspecting the room for a few minutes and tracing her fingers over the flowers tenderly, Bones turned to me and said, "You didn't have to do all this."

"I know," I replied softly, "I wanted to..."

We spent the next half an hour exploring the rest of the yacht, which began to fill with other people. Finally an announcement was made that we were setting sail and requested everyone find a table for dinner. Bones and I returned to our suite and sat down to a glass of sparkling apple juice. A few moments into a light conversation, I noticed Bones wince faintly. When I asked if she was feeling all right, she shrugged, "I am just sore. Braxton Hicks, you know."

Furrowing my brows at her, I rebuked, "Bones, why didn't you tell me? We didn't have to do this today."

Laughing softly, she leaned back against the booth, "You insisted that I cancel my plans for this evening. I assumed it was important."

Clasping my hands together, I leaned forward, "Yes... It is. But not more important than your health."

In response, she simply smiled at me. That smile, the genuine one I love so much, made my legs turn into jelly. Motioning to the spot next to me, I winked, "Come here. I'll give you one of my famous massages."

"Famous?" She questioned with an eyebrow quirked. After a short pause, she scooted over and turned so her back was to me. Gulping slightly at the idea of touching her creamy skin again, I brushed her smooth curls over her left shoulder and traced my finger along the curve of her pale shoulder, eliciting a soft sigh from Bones. Slowly working my fingers over her tense shoulders and back, I tried my hardest not to blurt out my feelings. Patience is a virtue.

Halfway through my massage there was a knock on the suite door and a man entered with a tray of food. We separated upon the intrusion but we remained seated in the booth closer than before. Dinner was spent enjoying the soft sway of the yacht, spectacular cuisine and even better company. Over the months I spent living with Bones, we had grown a lot closer. Our previous issues with only talking about work related topics had disappeared completely – in fact, we avoided talking about work unless we were at work. I think it helped us (or at least me) to distinguish our partnership from our... I'm not sure what to call it at this point, friendship or relationship.

As we finished up dinner, the beat of my heart had rapidly increased and my stomach began to feel uneasy. When our plates were finally cleared, I slid out of the booth and offered her my hand, "Want to take a look outside?"

A look of intrigue immediately overtook her face and a soft smirk played on her pink lips. Taking her hand in mine, I didn't let go as I led her across the room and out the door to the deck. Stepping out, a warm breeze and thick spring air greeted us. The rail that circled the edge of the platform was illuminated by golden lights running under the rim of the white handrail. Bones almost immediately headed to the edge and leaned over to look down at the passing water. It truly was a beautiful night and as I watched Bones' hair and dress blowing ever so slightly in the wind, my previous anxiety seemed to melt away. From the rail, she pointed excitedly at a row of interconnected houses, "Look at the architecture of those houses, very classic colonial style."

Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I walked over to the rail and looked out with her, "Yes, it _is_ beautiful."

Glancing down at her hands, she sighed contently, "Booth... This has been wonderful."

Turning towards her, I leaned sideways on the rail, "Temperance. I want to talk to you about something."

At the sound of her first name, she also turned towards me and nodded. Waiting patiently for me to speak, she kept a straight and serene face. Taking the plunge, I tried to keep my voice steady as I spoke, "I have been confused for a long time. First it was between dream and reality. Then it was little things like why I wear this 'cocky' belt and crazy socks. And finally clowns... those damn clowns. I know that I was afraid of them before the tumour but I just can't find that fear anymore. And it has held me back for so long. I just kept thinking how can I trust my feelings if I don't know that they're true-"

"Booth," She interrupted with a worried expression marring her face, "I don't mean to interrupt but I think I need to sit down."

"Oh, of course. Let's get back inside," I agreed as I took her hand and guided her back into the suite. Once she sat down I grabbed her a glass of water and after taking a few sips, she looked more at ease. Setting the glass on the table, she shifted in the booth so that she was facing me and leaned an elbow on the table, "Please continue."

"Oh, uh..." I started while beginning to pace, "Where was I? Those damn clowns... I just wonder if that means that something is still wrong with me. But will I always be broken like this or will I get better at some point?"

"I like apple pie," She interjected.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

Smirking at my expression, she repeated, "I like apple pie. I never used to, despite your continued attempts to persuade me. But now I like it. Maybe things change sometimes, even without our knowledge."

Looking down at her plain expression, I thought about that for a moment. Maybe she is right. It has been over a year since my surgery and the only residual effect is the clowns. I need to stop thinking of myself as broken and just accept these new changes. Interrupting my thoughts, Bones commented, "Somehow I highly doubt that you did all of this just to talk to me about clowns."

With a sheepish smirk, I turned to her and nodded, "You're right. I was going somewhere with this. It has just been since the surgery that I have been able to admit to myself that I... have feelings for you. And not just in a friendly, 'atta-girl' kind of way. Bones, I..."

As my voice trailed off, I stopped to kneel in front of her and that's when I noticed the pained expression take over her face. My heart dropped into my stomach and I felt the world fall away. When I asked if she was okay, she gulped but then nodded, "Yes... but when I told you that I was just sore, I kind of lied. I think I am in labour."

Excitement engulfed me and I could almost hear the pounding of my heart in my ears. Then it dawned on me that we were out in the middle of the Potomac River on a yacht that probably didn't employ a doctor. Moving automatically, I reached for the cabin phone to find out where we were in our journey and if there was even a nurse to assist us. Luckily we were only about twenty minutes from the pier and one of the passengers was a med student looking to help. The hospital was only a ten minute drive from the pier, so we should have enough time to reach the hospital before Bones had the babies.

The rest of our voyage was spent anxiously timing Bones' contractions and trying to make her more comfortable, which was definitely my job. I sat with her talking in a low voice while rubbing small circles on her back. By the time we reached the dock, her contractions were about ten minutes apart. The med student offered to help me transport her to the hospital and I made a quick decision to drive her myself considering that my vehicle has a siren and was already at the dock. When we finally arrived at the hospital, Bones was breathing deeply and upon a quick examination was dilating quickly. While waiting for her contractions to become more regular, I made a few brief calls to ensure everyone knew what was going on.

I stayed with Bones throughout the entire process and tried to provide some useful coaching. Not surprisingly at all, she dealt with the pain quite well and never requested any medication. The girls were finally born around twelve thirty in the morning on May 21 – which by the way was after about five hours of labour – at a healthy weight of 5.8 lbs, Zooey Alexandra and Jaime Christine Booth. Both girls were born with wisps of medium brown colored hair, one blue eye and one brown eye which the doctor later explained to us was heterochromia (she also did a quick examination and determined they were both healthy). It is really hard to describe the feeling of seeing and holding your own child for the first time. Absolutely nothing can compare.

When we were finally released from the hospital the next day, it came with a high measure of relief. Attempting to sleep at the hospital had been incredibly difficult and we were both exhausted. Sometime during the drive from the hospital to Bones' apartment both of the girls fell asleep and although they hadn't cried much previously, it was also a relief to us both. Upon opening the door to her apartment, Bones stopped completely in her tracks and a small gasp escaped her lips. Glancing up at me as we both set the girls' car seats down, she questioned, "Forget-me-nots?"

She was referring to the small cluster of blue buds set on the ground just past the entryway as a part of last night's confession. Nodding, I removed my shoes and explained, "They symbolize memories and we have a lot of them, good and bad. I always want to remember the first time we ever met."

Stepping carefully around the little blue petals, she came upon another bunch of flowers – this time yellow roses. As she stared up at me with wide eyes, I continued my explanation, "Yellow roses for the friendship we created and I hope we always continue to be best friends."

Following the trail of flowers that led down the hall, we treaded lightly around the next four groups of delicate blooms and my speech persisted, "Red carnations for the admiration that grew within me for your: magnificent beauty, calla lilies; strength, gladiolus flowers; and intelligence, purple irises."

At the end of the cluster of irises was a swirling display of daffodils, "Then daffodils which symbolize the unrequited love I finally realized I felt for you," She glanced up at me sharply as I said this but I continued without pausing as the daffodils led to pink and red roses, "And these roses for the intense passion we somehow found along the way."

As I spoke, we turned the corner into her room where the trail of roses stopped. Bones flicked on the light and laid eyes on the single lotus flower resting on her pillow. The silence was nearly killing me as she walked over to it and traced her fingers across its creamy surface. Remaining at the end of the roses, I said softly, "The lotus... to give my promise of undying devotion to you for as long as I live."

She remained frozen for what felt like an eternity and I finally had to speak again, "Temperance. I... I have struggled with this for so long but there is no denying it anymore. I love you."

After another anxious moment, she turned to face me with tears in her eyes. At first I couldn't decipher whether they were good or bad tears but she made it clear as she whispered, "I love you too, Seeley."

Stunned, I couldn't move at first but forced my legs towards her. Pulling her tight against my body, I found myself overcome by a host of emotions – surprise, happiness, love, relief. Stepping back slightly, she looked up at me and smiled in her most genuine and unrestricted way. Burying my hand in her soft brown hair I took her lips for a slow and deep kiss – the kind I was looking forward to experience much more often. Before I would have readily separated from her, I heard one of the girls start to cry from the living room, which forced us apart. Smiling down at her, I realized contentedly that this was my family for now and forever, "Come on. Our girls are calling us."


End file.
